Brooklyn, there was a line that was drawn, and you have stepped over it by offering up a course in ARTISANAL PENCIL SHARPENING. Yeah, that is happening. David Rees—who seems like a perfectly nice person and is also a political cartoonist for Rolling Stone and The Nation—is bringing some Dixon Ticonderogas to Pete's Candy Store along with his knowledge in whittling the wooden sticks. His website declares:

"No, this is not a joke. You pay David Rees money and he sharpens your pencils. It actually happens. His artisanal service is perfect for artists, writers, and standardized test takers. For a mere $15, Mr. Rees will hand-sharpen your pencil to the most exacting standards, returning it to you together with the shavings, and a certificate of sharpening."

Here's a rundown of what to expect from artisanal sharpeing services, because you probably have a lot of questions right about now. And while his services will cost you, the event—held on February 13th—is actually free, and part of his national tour. At press time, we still believe this is some weird performance art thing. [via Brokelyn]