Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

is so last season. Want to stay in with the in crowd? Pick up Cecily von Ziegesar’s Gossip Girl, Psycho Killer instead. No, this is not a joke.

Brooklyn-based author von Ziegesar, who dreamed up the ridiculous exploits of Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass long before they hit the small screen, is updating her series with this season's hottest accessory: a lot of blood. Gossip Girl, Psycho Killer is a re-imagining of the original Gossip Girl pushed to the absolute limit. The Brooklyn Paper tells readers to expect squirrel poison, exploding eyeballs, asphyxiation, extra-sharp pizza slicers, and oh so very much more.

"I’ve sort of created this alternate universe where people are dying, and the adults are kind of brushing it under the rug the way they used to brush under the rug, you know, partying and sex and all that," von Ziegesar told Entertainment Weekly. It's too early to know if the CW TV show will embrace the gory twists, but we're not-so-secretly hoping for a creative way to dispose of Queen B before the series gets cancelled.

Intrigued? Enthralled? Slightly guilty but unable to tear yourself away? Perfect! von Ziegesar will be celebrating the release of the book with a reading and party at BookCourt on October 22nd. XOXO.