Last week on Game Of Thrones, we had a treacherous climb up The Wall, marriage negotiations, and a look inside Arya's eyes. This week, we got a display of dragons, some romance near The Wall, and a BEAR fight. Since the show is all about how people jockey for power, we've decided to follow along this season with our Game of Thrones Power Rankings—aka, who is owning this week.
Game Of Thrones Power Rankings, Week 6:
1. Tywin Lannister: Completely and utterly owned Joffrey this week while being as respectful as possible.
2. Daenerys Targaryen: The Mother Of Dragons really hates slavery. She picked up a lot of gold, intimidated a negotiator, and offered some Mother's Day wisdom.
2a. Dragons: Aww, dragons love head scratches.
3. Robb Stark: Pretty good week for him: he's going to be a father to a little prince or princess, and he just had sexy sex. But he's being a little dismissive of Walder Frey, who is less likable than a "wet shit."
4. Joffrey Baratheon: If he wasn't who he is, he'd be dropped to the bottom of the rankings after getting completely owned by his grandfather. But he is still king, old sport.
5. Margarey Tyrell: Fully realizes how innocent Sansa is—and legitimately seems to have sympathy for her, letting her think her mother taught her about sex.
6. Jon Snow: It feels like everyone's giving or receiving some sort of sex advice this week. But this is another lovely episode for him and Ygritte.
7. Ygritte: Received romantic overtures from Gareth Keenan and Mr. Know Nothing. Amazed by windmills.
8. Melisandre: Teaches Gendry about the birds and the bees and royalty.
9. Sansa Stark: Is told that a lot of experience can be a good thing, but has no concept of what that means.
10. Tyrion Lannister: Well, he is far from the worst Lannister!
11. Serr Bronn: "I don't pay you to put evil notions in my head." "You pay me to kill people who bother you. Evil notions come free." Good to have you back.
12. Jaime Lannister: Not only did he go back for Brienne—he got to leave Harrenhal on his terms (with a quip). This is some Tumblr-worthy shit.
13. Brienne of Tarth: Technically, the maiden beat the bear.
14. Osha: Her backstory could have been taken from The Walking Dead.
15. Arya Stark: Runs away from The Brotherhood and right into The Hound. Even Death can't help her (for now).
The Viserys Targeryen Memorial Least Powerful Person Of The Week Award: Theon Greyjoy: Undermines sexposition. Undergoes some alterations.
Rickon Watch 2013: Did Rickon Do Anything? Nope.
Hodor's Wisdom Of The Week: "Hodor."
Not Applicable: No sign of Cersei, Oleanna Redwyne, Littlefinger, Varys, Samwell Tarly, Stannis Barratheon and the Dragonstone folks, or Mance Rayder. Until next week, here's the Game Of Thrones theme song as sung by a kitty.