Last week on Game of Thrones, Reek got an assignment, Stannis got some cash, and Tyrion went on trial. This week, The Hound opened up, Sansa slapped, and Tyrion got a champion. GOT is all about how people jockey for power, so click through for our season four Game of Thrones Power Rankings.

Game Of Thrones Power Rankings, Week 7:

1. Daenerys Targaryen's Reawakened Libido: This week's episode was mixed between devastating personal histories—delivered by dying farmers, men in dungeons with tears in their eyes, and hulking knights missing chunks of their neck—and rejuvenated libidos. And it turns out, nothing turns Dany on more than vaguely recognizable actors waxing poetic about killing her enemies in her name. For once, the Female Gaze wins the day (well, it did until the very next scene...).

2. Littlefinger's Creepy Libido: The Master Of Literal Raspy Whispers continued his season four hotstreak of owning everyone and everything around him, despite his clear speech impediment (or is that an annunciation disability?). Only in his twisted mind can his love for Cat Stark logically lead to him making out with her daughter and murdering her sister. Or as Robin Arryn might say, he made the hysterical woman go fly through the moon door.

Anyway, this was basically him all episode:

3. Melisandre's Persuasive Libido: This was probably the most human Melisandre has come across ever since she talked about growing up filthy poor with Gendry last year. And that's not even taking into account her comfort with fully-nude sexposition scenes. Of course, it's easy to talk about tricks that lead men to truth (and manipulate your lover's wife into insecure compliance) when you look like she does.

4. Red Viper/Prince Oberyn Martell: Since we met him at the start of the season, Oberyn has primarily been interested in murdering Lannisters and passionately preaching the word of polyamory. But in his heartbreaking scene with Tyrion, it becomes clear that his passion is truly for Justice: "I’ve come to the perfect place. I want to bring all of those who have wronged me to justice. And all of those who have wronged me are right here." Unfortunately, as we harped on last week, the Westeros Justice System leaves much room for improvement.

5. Re-Introduction Scenes For The Latest Actor To Play The Mountain—And Accompanying Monologues From Fire-Scarred Siblings—That Quickly And Satisfactorily Re-Establish He Is A Freakish Big Murderer And Horse-Beheader: Cersei's cocked eyebrow approves.

6. The Idea That There Are Multiple Ser Gregor Cleganes Running Around Westeros Raping And Plundering In The Name Of The Lannisters:Not as crazy as you might think!

7. Daario Naharis 2.0: The less greasy version of the most libidinous Second Son gets an honorary (and hearty) slap on the back from the Rankings Powers That Be for successfully seducing the most powerful woman in the Known World AND shoving it in poor Jorah Mormont's face. He's still kind of greasy though.

8. The Importance Of Gravy: Dear God, you cannot give up on the gravy! Simple as that.

9. Arya + The Hound: It's a partnership that keeps giving, with personalities starting to bleed into each other. The Hound has become more and more vulnerable around Arya, and it's actually touching when he finally relents and allows her to sew up his neck wound. Meanwhile, Arya has become a full-fledged Nihilist, who had a knack for running into every shitty tertiary character in Westeros who has wronged her and her family.

10. Ser Bronn's Sincere & Heartfelt Attempt To Explain Why He Can't Be Tyrion's Champion: "I like myself more," he says somewhat sadly. Sure, he's got new clothes softer than a virgin's thighs, a dim-witted rich girl waiting for him at home, and a future sister-in-law to murder HAHA J/K?, but he and Tyrion had the best of times together, culminating in the tenderest of handshakes.

11. Brienne + Pod: For a wholly satisfying side dish of a storyline, you'll need a dollop of Pod's 'screwed-up face,' a pinch of Brienne being smug, a whole lot of Hot Pie ranting about gravy, and one very delicious-looking bread wolf. Serves 2-3 scenes.

12. Jon Snow's Stifled Sense Of Leadership: A definite step backward this week for little Lord Snow after successfully leading his brothers to Craster's Keep. But this felt more like a bump in the road than a true downgrade. Once the Wildings reach The Wall, there'll be no time for Emo Snow to pout and scrawl Dashboard Confessional lyrics onto his bedroom wall.

13. Tyrion Lannister's Topsy-Turvy Rollercoaster Of Emotions: His three incredible scenes with Jaime, Bronn and Oberyn form the spine (and heart) of the episode, as he shifts from dogged determination to depressed resignation to teary-eyed gratitude. Thank the Gods Oberyn stepped up to be his champion, or else he would have had to go with his third choice, Detective Tutuola:

14. Jaime Lannister: Tyrion has renewed hope now, which is more than you can say for his brother. Powerless to convince his father to end the trial, powerless to defend his brother in combat, powerless to control his own destiny at this point, hell, powerless to even get Bronn to visit Tyrion in a timely manner. We were tempted to put him at the bottom of the rankings this week, if it weren't for the fact that the next person is in an even more precarious position.

15. Sansa Stark/Lannister: Sansa, yet again, finds that she traded one shitty situation in King's Landing—where she was routinely tortured by the king (Joffrey) and wed to someone she was creeped out by (Tyrion)—for a similar set-up in the Eyrie, tortured by the ruling parties (Lysa and Robin) and hit on by a creepy dude (Whisperfinger). Oh, and her snow castle was destroyed. Bummer.

The Viserys Targaryen Memorial Least Powerful Person Of The Week Award: At the end of the day, we feel compelled to hand this award out to dearly departed Breastfeeding Advocate Lysa Arryn, whose grating presence will not be dearly missed. Although up until that fateful push in the final scene, religious fundamentalist Selyse Baratheon's Lack Of Self Worth looked like a lock (especially her face after Meilsandre quickly confirms that she didn't need to use any love potion on Stannis).

The Ser Pounce Memorial Most Powerful Pet Of The Week Award: I'd love to see Ser Alliser Thorne try to throw Ghost into tonight's stew. Actually, no, that could be really upsetting. Seriously, it would alienate a huge portion of the audience:

The Hodoriffic Honorary Minor Character Of The Week Award: We could listen to Hot Pie ramble about kidney pie ingredients and "Winterhell" all day. Just don't get him started on the gravy, it's very difficult to get right!

The Is Little Robin Arryn Still Breastfeeding? Question Of The Week: The Lord of the Vale is a very important person, and we dread the answer to this question now that his mother has taken a dive through the moon door. Does this mean Sansa will be forced to become a surrogate mother for him? Do people keep breastmilk on hand in case of murder-related emergencies?

Real Life Red Wedding Of The Week House Baquet conspired with House Sulzberger to betray House Abramson, despite assurances of guest (or employee) rights:

Baquet, an apparently nice-guy character in this, turned around and dissed Abramson in a dinner with Sulzberger, calling her “belligerent” (witchy woman alert!), in what sounds like an Upper West Side version of the Red Wedding from “Game of Thrones.”

David Carr laments: "How did our workplace suddenly become a particularly bloody episode of Game of Thrones?"

This is all well and good in small quantities, but always remember: never go full Buzzfeed.

Rickon Watch 2014: Is Rickon Still On This Show? Every week we ask ourselves the question Arya asks the dying farmer: "So why go on?" Maybe nothing is worse than this, but nothing also is nothing, and nothing still gives us hope that one day we shall see our mighty hero, even if he is inevitably played by a different actor, but it's fine, all will be fine.

The Remember Roz Sexposition Quotient: With Daario 2.0 stripping down at Dany's command, we thought maybe this would be the rare GOT episode with only a touch of male nudity. And then the next five minutes of screentime were dominated by Melisandre's nipples. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Way Beyond The Wall: Lots of absences this week: no Tywin Lannister, Queen of Thorns/Olenna Tyrell, Mace Tyrell, Margaery Tyrell's Conscience, Varys, Bran Stark (along with Hodor/Jojen Reed/Meera Reed), the Thenns, the White Walkers, and the Wildings (Ygritte). No torture porn with Ramsay Snow, Reek and the Bolton/Freys. No King Tommen, King Stannis or Ser Davos. As has been their wont, The Brotherhood Without Banners and Mance Rayder were nowhere to be seen.

GOT is taking Memorial Day Weekend off, so we'll see you again in two weeks for the Red Viper/Mountain showdown. Until then, pray for ping pong balls: