Pirates of the CaribbeanGothamist's favorite New York Times film critic reviews Pirates of the Caribbean. Here's what Elvis Mitchell managed to put in the review:

- Pop culture references: Bart Simpson, Mike Myers, Adam Ant, Keith Richards, Destiny's Child, 12-inch single
- Nicole Kidman slam
- Sigh
- Food reference: ham
- Either pithy or poopy pun as last line

Elvis likes Mark Romanek.