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- For those of you who skipped the Democratic debate because it's too soon to be on our fourth round (sixth if you count the initial, double-decker debates) of these, here's a brief synopsis: Everyone ganged up on Elizabeth Warren, the apparent frontrunner, and ignored Joe Biden, who also yelled at Warren; Mayor Pete was feeling punchy; and...that's pretty much it.
- Oh, except disgraced, fired Fox employee Bill O'Reilly decided to attack Beto O'Rourke over his assertion he met someone who worked four jobs to care for her special needs daughter. O'Reilly seemed to think that was too many jobs to be believed, but uh...nope!
- Three people have been arrested in connection with the theft of a solid gold toilet from Winston Churchill's birth palace (yes, palace).
- An Iowa family's basement flooded with about half a foot of blood, bones, and viscera, likely because of shoddy drainage practices at the neighboring slaughter house and not because they've been hexed by a witch.
- The first, all-woman space walk will happen THIS WEEK, likely Thursday or Friday, according to NASA.
- Dutch police found five adult siblings and their elderly, alleged father locked away in the secret antechamber of a rural farmhouse, where they may have spent the last decade either "waiting for the end of time," or being held against their will.
- This Kansas dog hospice needs volunteers — you could be the person who plays "soft music for pups taking an afternoon nap or just out for a walk"!!
- A fern named Pete is the first plant in the world to take a selfie — "a blurry picture of some leaves," per the Guardian. First pancake is always the worst pancake, Pete!
- SEND DIANE KEATON ALL YOUR DOG CONTENT:

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