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- Nothing to see here, just a now-deleted photo of presidential advisor Kellyanne Conway posing with Jeffrey Epstein's pilot in late 2016.
- And: NBC unearthed footage of Donald Trump partying with Epstein and the Buffalo Bills cheerleaders at Mar-a-Lago in 1992. Watch Trump whisper in Epstein's ear about how "hot" the women are and make the financier double over in laughter.
- Chance the Snapper, Chicago's newly captured and "very healthy" alligator mascot, received some advice from his namesake (and Chicagoist owner) Chance the Rapper: "Keep your head up. They got you locked down; they can have your body, but they can't have your mind."
- Border patrol agents in El Paso, Texas, reportedly made a 3-year-old Honduran girl choose which of her parents would remain with her in the U.S. as her family navigates the asylum process, and which would be sent to Mexico.
- Beyoncé released a music video for "Spirit," her new song from The Lion King, and be warned: it includes a preview of the movie's scariest scene. (Hyenas, man.)
- A barefoot, gearless Nebraska woman scaled Mount Rushmore, scrabbled right up between George Washington and Thomas Jefferson's faces and nearly made it to the top before park officials forced her down.
- Chimps, like humans, seem to bond over a shared love of the cinema.
- Warning, you won't be able to unread what you're about to read, but! A Kentucky man got a tick in/on his eyeball, and when his optometrist removed it, said tick reportedly made "a little popping sound." Barf.
- I'm so sorry for that last link, I hope this makes up for it:
*Bitch Cakes*/Flickr

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