He bragged about it in 2009 but it turns out he wasn't kidding: David Cross did cocaine in the same room as President Obama during the White House Correspondents' Dinner. "It wasn’t even that much cocaine. It was literally the size of, I don’t know, a tick," Cross tells Playboy this month. Yes, but how much of that cocaine made its way across the room and up into the president's nose?

Cross says he was 65 feet from the president when he snorted that fine white china, and didn't even get high: "The jolt was similar to licking an empty espresso cup. It wasn’t about that. It was just about being able to say that I did it, that I did cocaine in the same room as the president." The fallout however, is that his fianceé who was invited to the dinner, Amber Tamblyn, is likely blackballed (or 8-balled?) from official events.

Still, it makes us feel lame for wearing a shirt with a joint-smoking, switchblade wielding banana on a White House tour. No one even noticed. And since you read Playboy for the articles, here's a solid interview the publication did with Nobel Prize-winning economist Paul Krugman about how we're all fucked.