In May, several readers noticed that a creepy-as-hell, slowed down version of the Mister Softee jingle had been playing through some LinkNYC kiosks around the city, as if Pennywise had chosen the form of a silver data harvester rather than a red balloon.
LinkNYC said it was the result of "an old fashioned phone prank," adding that it would reboot the malfunctioning tablets. But it's now July, and guess what? The jingle is still popping up and creeping out New Yorkers. So what aren't we being told about this ice cream mirage?
@gothamist it’s happening again
— chelsea adelaine hassler (@chelseaadelaine) July 2, 2018
this one’s from down the street yesterday pic.twitter.com/5qReXIZN4y
— chelsea adelaine hassler (@chelseaadelaine) July 2, 2018
Multiple people have reported hearing the demonic jingle emanating from kiosks around Manhattan, Brooklyn and Queens over the last month, prompting concerns that a supervillain might be hacking the kiosks during heatwaves in order to lull New Yorkers into a false sense of auditory somnolence. You can see/hear a few more examples below.
Spooky Mr Softee kiosk is back! pic.twitter.com/ggM0dp0Sp4
— Alex Cannon (@tehevilcannon) June 22, 2018
@LinkNYC several of your kiosks are playing the creepily slow Mr. Softee jingle again. 53rd and 54th streets and 3rd Ave.
— Doug Allen (@DFAllenIII) June 29, 2018
Follow up: It is happening again. The @LinkNYC stations are playing the Mr. Softee theme song. WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS MADNESS? pic.twitter.com/nIXs0J4toz
— Megan (@megan_musings) June 2, 2018
30 ave 31 Street Astoria kiosk playing Mr. Softee jingle? pic.twitter.com/9PfD2xAW2C
— Joan P (@JPovol) June 14, 2018
So we have a lot of questions: is someone "hacking" each individual kiosk each time? Or are there multiple copycats hacking multiple kiosks? Did one person come up with the hack and now it is spreading from kiosk to kiosk like a virus in the first act of any half-decent zombie movie? Is it a protest by anti-surveillance activists against data companies encroaching upon our streets? Or is this the kind of prank that can only be cured by exorcism? What is LinkNYC not telling us? And even more pressing: what is LinkNYC not not telling us?
Hi Jacob! As we mentioned previously, LinkNYC wasn't hacked. It was an old-fashioned phone prank
— LinkNYC (@LinkNYC) June 26, 2018
What do Celebrities™ Zach Braff & Josh Groban know? What do they not know? How deep does this conspiracy run?
Mr. Softee would haunt your dreams (more than usual)
— josh groban (@joshgroban) July 1, 2018
Dare we ask: does the conspiracy go even higher up the chain of command straight to the White House? Follow the money, follow the jingle, find the clown.
I’m high as shit & just realized that Trump is Mister Softee pic.twitter.com/aQKQedWNQg
— z (@iwasdivine) June 26, 2018
It could be worse of course. Every kiosk could suddenly switch into "seizure mode."
@LinkNYC_Support these screens are about to give someone a seizure - Jackson & 44 Dr, LIC pic.twitter.com/ro22ar406F
— corrine rhymes with bean (@corrine) June 26, 2018