In May, several readers noticed that a creepy-as-hell, slowed down version of the Mister Softee jingle had been playing through some LinkNYC kiosks around the city, as if Pennywise had chosen the form of a silver data harvester rather than a red balloon.

LinkNYC said it was the result of "an old fashioned phone prank," adding that it would reboot the malfunctioning tablets. But it's now July, and guess what? The jingle is still popping up and creeping out New Yorkers. So what aren't we being told about this ice cream mirage?

Multiple people have reported hearing the demonic jingle emanating from kiosks around Manhattan, Brooklyn and Queens over the last month, prompting concerns that a supervillain might be hacking the kiosks during heatwaves in order to lull New Yorkers into a false sense of auditory somnolence. You can see/hear a few more examples below.

So we have a lot of questions: is someone "hacking" each individual kiosk each time? Or are there multiple copycats hacking multiple kiosks? Did one person come up with the hack and now it is spreading from kiosk to kiosk like a virus in the first act of any half-decent zombie movie? Is it a protest by anti-surveillance activists against data companies encroaching upon our streets? Or is this the kind of prank that can only be cured by exorcism? What is LinkNYC not telling us? And even more pressing: what is LinkNYC not not telling us?

What do Celebrities™ Zach Braff & Josh Groban know? What do they not know? How deep does this conspiracy run?

Dare we ask: does the conspiracy go even higher up the chain of command straight to the White House? Follow the money, follow the jingle, find the clown.

It could be worse of course. Every kiosk could suddenly switch into "seizure mode."