2007_02_cornmo.jpgThis picture makes it look like Corn Mo should be singing Love Reign O'Er Me. And if you've ever seen Corn Mo, you know that he can hit those notes as well as Roger Daltrey. You also know that Corn Mo is quite the story teller, and you'll get a few tasty Mo-resels in this interview.

What does it mean to rock to you?
To give it your all. Sometimes after a show I feel like I've run 5 miles. A friend told me how he used to think about paying rent, what he was going to have for dinner, and things of the sort during his shows. I try to stay on the path called rock and leave the daydreaming for other times. It's hard to hold an audience when I'm solo. I can't think about rent. It takes a lot out of me.

What are some bands and songs that rock?
Van Halen"Love in a Simple Rhyme" and "Mean Streets", Poison "Nothing but a Good Time", Guns and Roses "Welcome to the Jungle" and "My Michelle", Motley Crue "Shout at the Devil", Queen "Sheer Heart Attack" and 'Fat Bottom Girls", Cheap Trick "Surrender" and "Hello Ladies and Gentleman" Bruce Springsteen "Jungleland" Kid Rock "Bawitaba" Rush "Spirit of the Radio" Kiss "Love Gun" and "Rock and Roll All Night" Def Leppard "Rock Rock Til you Drop" Deep Purple "Space Truckin'" that's just today.

How much time do you dedicate to rocking every day?
I try to get one hour of receiving and one hour of giving. Sometimes none.

What are your earliest memories of music?
Hearing Frankie Valli; seeing Kiss.

Do you have any fun stories of seeing concerts when younger?
Peeing in a crowded bathroom at a Rush show. Strangers getting excited with each other because they played 2112. There was no line for the girl's bathroom.

You also do quite a bit of interviewing. How'd you get started in that?
Kittenpants asked me to give her some questions and so we started interviewing together. It's unlike dancing and more like tennis or hot potato.

Could you give me an update on your movie(Kung Fu Teenage Bigfoot) , rock opera (Alice Wakeman), and album?
Movie: on hold. The director's wife was deported and they now live in Singapore. We may shoot over there. Rock Opera: mentally on hold. Album: progressing well.

You mention being picked on a lot growing up. How exactly were you picked on?
Made fun of for no reason, pushed around and punched by the bigger ones, belittled for sucking at basketball, fronted for not having team spirit in football, and called a band fag. I think I have a face that beckons a fist. And my blissful naivete' invited much hatred.

What advice do you have for a young person that's being picked on right now?
Write down his name, wait 7 years, and then shoot him in the knees while he's taking a bath. Even if you're over it. You promised yourself revenge at the age of 10. Or you can just suck it up and do nothing. It makes you stronger.

Did you look forward to growing up?
No, though I looked forward to skipping some years and holding onto others.

Where did you find solace while growing up?
In my room, listening to Deep Purple, Van Halen, Judas Priest, The Scorpions, Jimi Hendrix, Rush, Kenny Rogers, and Abba.

What sort of creative outlets did you have?
My piano, my brother's guitar, and the bands I played with in high school.

Do you think that if bullies learned how to rock they'd stop being bullies?
I became friends with assholes when I joined their bands. But I've played shows with assholes in other bands. There's some petty shit that goes with some bands. So my answer is maybe.

Can rock change the world?
It does help. A friend of mine started something called the Rock Lottery a while back. 5 Drummers and a hat with the names of local musicians. We arrived at 10am and went with the drummer who picked us. Then, we had until 9pm to come up with 3 original songs to perform that night. It was awesome. Do that on a global level with jets, maglev trains, and super fast vans and it will be awesome. Then someday, "We're gonna bomb who? Shit, man, my Rock Lottery sitarist lives there."

If you could change the world, how would you change it?
Stocks would have a ceiling on resources. People without money would be able to collectively say no. Every town that needed a proper sewage system and clean water would have it. I would have a string of singularities that would pop in atom bombs like a pack of firecrackers, diffusing each bomb and keeping that info to myself.

Ghandi said, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world". What's the least helpful quote that someone's ever given you?
"If you can't be good, be good at it"

What do you think of this one: it's your attitude and not your aptitude that determines your altitude
It's somewhat true but motivational catchphrases lead to nowhere just like an Amway diamond on your bathroom mirror.

Do you have any anecdotes about motivational speakers, self help books, or Amway?
I once took a Zig Ziglar course in high school. I guess you have to believe in it for it to work. Self-help books are usually horseshit for people who are stuck in a rut. You know what you need to do. There's no magic ladder. I used to sell vacuum cleaners door-to-door. We had a motivational speaker talk to the sales team. It was about the difference between bees and flies. My boss had a snow globe with money instead of snow. I got a trophy for best salesman of the month. I would have traded it for a decent paycheck and self-respect.

I housesat for a couple that worked for Amway. They paid me and my friend in Little Debbie cakes. It's sad when I see people suckered for get-rich-quick schemes. They are desperate for self-worth. Instead of vague answers about life, talk to someone you admire. When I came to NYC, I asked David Cross to meet me for a beer and allow me to question him about entertainment. He was cool to consent. He's a very, very kind man.

Ever been to the Learning Annex?
No, but I took some university courses that might as well have been Learning annex classes.

If you could take any class at the Learning Annex, what would it be?
How to fly without a cape.

Were you ever a teacher?
I got a history degree with a minor in secondary education but it didn't work out. I subbed for a little bit and hated it. I didn't get a history-teaching job because I couldn't coach girls' basketball. And then, I decided if I shouldn't jeopardize the education of our youth with late nights of playing accordion. My passion was for accordion and not for sharing knowledge with the nation's youth. It wouldn't have been right. Also, I'd worked with one of the best history teachers I'd ever seen. There's a huge problem with education and there are a lot of armchair quarterbacks who think they know how it should be done. I've seen shitty teachers unbothered and teachers who had vision and inspired students to learn get fucked with constantly. I met students who tested out of taking college history from what they'd learned from a class in eighth grade. And this teacher taught by lecture and gave only essay tests. And the students did well. Eighth grade! And I had two band directors that showed me how to be a better musician. One of them showed me how to play rock piano. And I still use his methods. But give a board member a reason to flex muscle and they will. Board members know a lot about teaching. They've never fucking done it themselves but they'd love to fire over trivial shit. And let's keep testing teachers that have masters degrees. That'll show a politician they give a shit about education. One of those teachers no longer teaches. He's the handyman on Barney. And the shitty teacher? Probably still handing out ditto sheets with fill-in-the-blanks. I did enjoy subbing detention. Those kids aren't stupid. They just can't deal with bullshit. So, I didn't teach. I went my own way with awful Joe jobs to fund my music.

How would you like this interview to play out?
With a Sousa march through a Doppler effects pedal.

How would you like this interview to end?
Like a home cooked meal on a Saturday night, preferably tacos.

Visit Corn Mo's website or Myspace to find out about future shows at The PIT, Mo Pitkin's, and other venues down the street, around the city, or across the country.