Last night's Colbert Report started off showing a Tolkien-style transformation of New York City—with the camera panning over a map of Mordhattan, Brook Lands, The Queen's Realm, and New Jersey (which comes with a tagline: Here Be The Cave Troll Chris Christie). Check out the full video below, complete with Hobbit-approved tunes—blink and you might miss the land known as Hipsters' Deep:

Since Colbert didn't include the city's other two boroughs, we're trying to figure out what the Middle Earth versions of Staten Island and The Bronx would be...