In a big warehouse in the Brooklyn Navy Yards, the vultures are ready to swoop in and snatch up the detritus left behind by Bernard Madoff's Ponzi scheme. Those black Velveteen slippers with BLM embroidered on them that we've had our hearts set on? Only estimated at $75-$110! But if you want an LL Bean tote bag personalized with Madoff's name, that's going to set you back an estimated $650-$930. If anything, this is all just a reminder that when you get stinking rich you acquire a seemingly infinite array of crap with your name emblazoned on it—while simultaneously losing any awareness of how obnoxious that is.

All the items, culled from Madoff's Montauk beach house and his $7 million Park Avenue apartment, will be auctioned off on Saturday at the Sheraton New York Hotel & Towers (you'll have to come to Brooklyn to preview them in advance). Details here.