If we learned anything from The Dark Knight trilogy, it's this: you either die of hypothermia a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the kind of person who wears shorts in below freezing weather. It's been so cold out lately, we've broken temperature records; we've seen all of our rivers become ice barges; it's gotten so bad, we've even had to acknowledge that Boston exists just to feel a little better about ourselves. And still, some people insist on shoving their superior body temperatures into our faces—because some Bros just want to watch the world burn (or, in this case, shiver).
The Bro above was spotted by Jenn Sweeney on the Uptown C train at 34th Street around 9:30 a.m. on Friday, about an hour or so after temperatures hit 2 degrees in Central Park (not counting wind chill, mind you), making it the coldest February 20th on record in NYC history. "I don't understand," she noted. Considering that we were wearing thermal underwear underneath our regular long underwear underneath our over-underwear ("pants"), neither do we.
And this Bro is not alone. There are plenty of people who want to live everyday like it's the No Pants Subway Ride.
Somewhere in #NYC there is always 1 white boy wearing shorts in the freezing cold pic.twitter.com/npLKEdRPuC
— Nicolette Christiane (@nicolettecc) January 11, 2015
Dude in shorts and a tshirt on the subway. Not like it’s cold outside pic.twitter.com/3aPk0RXTFD
— axiologist (@axiologist) January 30, 2015
Dude-bro in shorts on a bike #Brooklyn it's 29° out! #fb
— Lisa Guido (@lisaguido) February 21, 2015
There is a man in NYC walking his dog while wearing shorts. #blizzardof2015 pic.twitter.com/WjftadWyOt
— Elyse PG (@elysepg) January 26, 2015
This phenomenon is not limited to NYC of course. There are delusional Bros in every city.
Temp above freezing in Chicago, naturally we've got white guys in shorts #CAUCASITY @desusnice pic.twitter.com/uKC3yMtlly
— hooderman (@Hooderman) January 19, 2015
So what if it's only 15 degrees outside? Shorts are fine for some. http://t.co/rlOqAhyHzh pic.twitter.com/R6cqwRiWTC
— WBIR Channel 10 (@wbir) February 20, 2015
No matter HOW COLD it is outside, there's always that one white kid that wears shorts 😂 pic.twitter.com/jAqux0Xs45
— KeUndra. (@Ke_IVBey) February 19, 2015
when someone tells me its too cold outside to wear shorts pic.twitter.com/bNZESnaPRA
— (◡‿◡✿) dick (@Kawaii_Sexual) February 18, 2015
Do they think they're Matthew McConaughey? Because they're not Matthew McConaughey. Just looking at them makes us mad—it makes us feel colder. At least you could be classy about it.
32 in NYC feels like midsummer. Time for some cargo shorts
— Ben White (@morningmoneyben) February 18, 2015
Overheard in Park Slope: "Wow, I can practically wear shorts today!" Thanks for giving us a break, freezing temps.
— Christine Campbell (@ChristineJessie) February 21, 2015
Update: Check out an important correction to this story here.