Summer's sleepiest month will close out with an eyeful of amateur porn, thanks to the arrival of sex columnist Dan Savage's celebrated HUMP! Film Festival in Boerum Hill on Saturday and Sunday. If your grandparents haven't picked a weekend to visit you yet, think of all the fun you'll have watching Anal Alley together.

Savage kicked off HUMP! in Seattle in 2005, calling for folks to submit their own 5-minute sex tapes to be screened in front of a real live audience. People braver than we are have stepped up with their short films year after year, and now HUMP! hits screens nationwide—this weekend, a $25 ticket gets you in to see the festival's greatest hits at Roulette on Atlantic Avenue.

Film offerings run the sex-spectrum gamut, and include the aforementioned Anal Alley ("A late night television infomercial for a butt plug bowling set that makes good and dirty use of all three extra credit props in the 2013 HUMP! festival: butt plugs, bowling pins, and Hillary Clinton!"); another 2013 offering dubbed Beethoven's Stiff ("While a penis conducts Beethoven's Fifth, a Vagina plays a French Horn. This is precisely what would happen if your genitals dedicated themselves to classical music.") and Cinderfella, a Cinderella tale not likely condoned by Disney ("One of the world's best loved fairy tales gets a magical, sparkly, ass-eating makeover…").

You and many, many strangers can catch all these and more on Friday at 7 p.m. and 9 p.m., or on Saturday at 6 p.m., 8 p.m. and 10 p.m., assuming the Daily News doesn't convince Mayor de Blasio to shut the theater down; purchase tickets online. And now, enjoy some NSFW stop-motion sexcapades: