The Bronx Zoo has a new baby monkey! And despite this photo, we're pretty sure it was not kidnapped nor is it being held hostage by these two older monkeys.

COLUBUSMONKEY14.jpg
Photo by Julie Larsen Maher/Wildlife Conservation Society

The baby male Angolan colobus monkey was born in the Congo Gorilla Forest at the Zoo, and there are now five of these in the troop there—one adult male, two adult females, one juvenile female, and this newborn. Ah, newborns, what a joyous occasion...

cmonkey14.jpg
Awkward Family Portraits. (Photo by Julie Larsen Maher/Wildlife Conservation Society)

Fun fact: these primates are born completely white... and scared, and terrified of their parents, and can often be heard whispering "please help me" to passerby.

cmonkey114.jpg
Photo by Julie Larsen Maher/Wildlife Conservation Society

While these monkeys are probably not evil, we can't be too careful, so anyone in the area should be on alert: