Holy majoly. Today, the world - well, really everyone who believed in celebrity fairy tale endings - reeled with news that very blond and pretty Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston have officially separated. In fact, this news was so big, E! had a newscrawl at the bottom of their screen. Brad and Jen issued a statement through People magazine:
We would like to announce that after seven years together we have decided to formally separate. For those who follow these sorts of things, we would like to explain that our separation is not the result of any of the speculation reported by the tabloid media.
This decision is a result of much thoughtful consideration. We happily remain committed and caring friends with great love and admiration for one another. We ask in advance for your kindness and sensitivity in the coming months.
It's a moment for everyone to have Schadenfreude, even though some New Yorkers were shocked - "Oh, my God! I really thought it was going to last," said one to the Daily News. Anyway, translation of the press statement: So, we're broken up, and not because the tabloids were guessing we had for a while; celebrity magazine editors, we know you've got the paparazzi on our asses...just use the prettiest pictures of us. Gothamist salutes the couple for confusing the tabloids, even bringing Star to put them on their cover, saying they were back together and ready to make a baby. Anyway, cynically speaking, their film careers have been a mixed bag since their marriage. Sure, Aniston had The Good Girl, but it was more to establish her acting chops; she's been relegated to playing Jim Carrey's and Ben Stiller's significant others, which is never a good things...and a faux-sequel of The Graduate with Rob Reiner directing? Egads. Pitt has remained looking hot, which is all Gothamist asks.
Defamer reminds us that there were some rumors of Pitt and Angelina Jolie getting it on while making Mr. and Mrs. Smith (well, who can blame him - she's super hot), which makes us wonder about the next mates for Brad and Jen. Clearly, they will need to either be so incredibly famous or total unknowns (Jennifer Aniston and Prince William!). We figure that within two years, Pitt will have a kid. And if this news means that all celebrity rumors are true (hello, Richard Gere and gerbil story), is the next couple to go: Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey?