Buy your ex-wife's Pomeranian a beer and come flash a piece out on the lanes at the new Bowlmor Times Square, opening today in the old New York Times building on West 44th Street. (You'll recall the paper of record sold the building in 2007 and moved to their flashy new headquarters in a 52-story skyscraper, which the company had to then mortgage off to cover spiraling debt.) Bowlmor has gobbled up 90,000 square feet of the building, which opened in 1913, and the massive bi-level venture boasts 50 lanes in seven New York City-themed bowling lounges. Celebrity chef David Burke has been contracted to handle the menus at a Stadium Grill Restaurant and Sports Bar, and there's also a "Tribeca Loft" nightclub and the New York Salon private banquet room. Yeah, we're a long way from league night and pitchers of Genny Cream.

The walls of the lobby are lined with bowling lanes, creating a vertiginous effect as your journey through Bowlmor world begins. Of the different themed lounges, perhaps the most striking is The Andy Warhol room, which we're told has the only black bowling lanes in the world. Then there's The Times Square Room, which features stripper poles on the sides of the lanes for dancers. The Central Park room has tall grass between the lanes and a few fireplaces, while the Chinatown bowling lounge features dragons on the walls and pagodas between the lanes. The subway-themed bowling lanes have "cinder-block" walls and graffiti (we're guessing the balls will be held momentarily in the gutter, please be patient.)

She opens today at 4 p.m. with an introductory price of $72 per lane per hour, PLUS $6.50 for shoe rental. Eat your heart out, Sulzberger!

Bowlmor Lanes Times Square // 222 West 44th Street // (212) 680-0012