Picking up on the fact that 2013 was sorely lacking in new Beyoncé albums, Beyoncé decided to celebrate Taylor Swift's birthday by surprise releasing her long-awaited new album, the self-titled Beyoncé, last night. No amount of pizza sweaters and vegan cupcakes could prepare fans for the release, which includes 14 songs and 17 videos, with guest appearances by Jay Z, Blue Ivy, Drake, Nigerian intellectuals, and more. Fans are having heart attacks, Buzzfeed is having a heart attack, iTunes broke down—and most amazingly, Beyoncé found a way to get people to pay money for music.

Of course, Beyoncé's release method is kind of old hat at this point: Radiohead, Nine Inch Nails, and David Bowie all surprise released albums in recent years. Tori Amos and Beck have both released "visual" albums to accompany their new releases. Even some of her biggest fans weren't happy with how this all went down:

But of course, it's not about being first—it's about being best. We haven't had much time to process the album yet (we're only 1 and a 1/2 listens in so far, including one pass of most of the videos), but we are already pretty impressed by the music videos, which are consistently inspired and playful, whether they are bubblegum fun ("Blow"), slightly artsy ("Ghost"), or essentially home movies ("Blue"). She left the catchiest song/most obvious single off the record ("Grown Woman," for which there is a video), and overall, the album seems less overtly commercial than the majority of her past work. Having said that, there are plenty of immediate highlights, like the addictive "Blow," the sexy "Partition," horny slow jam "Rocket," the anthem "Flawless" (formerly known as "Bow Down"), and "Drunk In Love," a sort of sequel to her first solo hit, "Crazy In Love."

Lots of people will be spending today injecting this album into their craniums and furiously re-writing their best of 2013 lists, so we'd recommend staying away from Twitter if you're not highly interested in watching people's immediate reactions file in. For what it's worth, we think Yeezus is still the album of the year. But if you've ever wanted to hear Beyoncé sing a (sincerely good) ode to her own derriere, you'd be hard pressed to find anything better than this.