Bennett Madison, Author of I Hate Valentine's Day

The Basics.
Astrological Sign.
I am an Aries with a Pisces rising and a Capricorn moon. It's actually sort of a hopeless combination.

Day job.
Receptionist/Sassy Secretary/Box Lifter at the National Resources Defense Council. Author of the forthcoming young adult novel LULU DARK CAN SEE THROUGH WALLS. (Out in May!)

Bad habit.
Filth.

A Few For You.
Why do you hate Valentine's Day?
I'm always too broke to enjoy it. I always get in a fight with someone. Sometimes I am dumped and despondent. Chocolate is gross. A better question is: "why does anyone LIKE VD?" Valentine's Day is just sucky and stupid in general. If you like someone, you should be nice to them all the time. And as for the roses and diamonds nonsense... isn't that what anniversaries are for?

What's your favorite "silly love song"?
Definitely SUPERSTAR by The Carpenters. But I don't know if that counts as silly... I actually think it's very moving! Baby baby baby baby OH BABY. First runner up is ON THE RADIO by Donna Summer. That song makes me cry!

Who would you stalk if you were guaranteed to NOT get caught?
What's the point of stalking if you're not going to get caught? This is totally a boring answer but I am in love with Jake Gyllenhall. I've been stalking him for quite awhile now. You should see the creepy shrine i've erected to him in my bedroom...

What's the best place in New York City for semi-public sex?
Behind the unicorn tapestry at the cloisters.

How many take-out menus do you have in your apartment?
One thousand.

What's your favorite subway stop?
Nereid Avenue, even though I've never been there. It sounds like you get off the train and there are elves and mermaids frolicking about.

If you could have dinner with three famous New Yorkers, who would it be?
Lily Bart from The House Of Mirth. Walt Whitman, even though New Jersey claims him too. Cookie Mueller if she can count as a New Yorker. If I have to pick someone alive/non-fictional, I guess I'll say Amy Sedaris.

Complete this non-SAT analogy: Page Six is to Gossip as Bennett
Madison is to _______.
Teenage Intrigue.