The Basics
Age and occupation. How long have you lived here, where did you come from, and where do you live now?
Twenty-seven. Writer. Five years. New Jersey. Hell's Kitchen.
Three from Chris Gage
1. Have you had the pleasure of reading Tom Perrotta's book "Joe College"? The narrator attends Yale and from Perrotta's depiction of said U, the singing groups (particularly the Wiffin Poofs) command quite a place among the student body and the respect of the 'versity in general. How much of a load of hooey is this? Glee clubs are cool at Yale? Seriously?
Well, consider: I was not in a singing group, and I was not cool. But be careful. It's Whiffenpoofs, and the Yale Glee Club is not to be confused with the eighty-three different a cappella groups you read so much about.
I did read "Joe College." How could I not? The protagonist was from New Jersey and spent his vacations driving food around. Perrotta clearly used me as the model.
2. You took some flack from the notoriously wanky Fray on Slate.com for your dissection of Ichiro Suzuki's batting. In how many languages would you like to spank down those wankers, and sports afficiandos in general, who spend too much time muddling with ERAs, RBIs, and PBRs when they should be spending more time with their children and less with their shattered dreams?
I thought PBR's resurgence was the result of a marketing ploy aimed at hipsters. Sports aficionados with children and shattered dreams drink Coors Light.
As for Ichiro, as soon as they stop humoring the guy and put his last name (Suzuki) on the back of his uniform, like every other player in the league, instead of his first name, I'll be happy.
3. How is the staff of the New Yorker regarded among the others in 4 Times Square? I mean, nerds are cool now so you guys are probably BMOCs over there, right?
There was a rumor going around, shortly after the move to 4 Times Square, that they all thought we looked like the Waltons. Then I think it turned out that someone at The New Yorker had started that rumor.
Proust-Krucoff Questionnaire
9pm, Wednesday night - what are you doing?
Putting on the foil for my ten o'clock hockey game at Chelsea Piers.
Best celebrity sighting in New York, or personal experience with one if you're that type.
Drinking beers with Irvine Welsh and his boyhood mate Dean, at Rudy's. They hadn't been to sleep since flying over from Edinburgh the day before, and they'd been at the bar since before lunch (it was around 7 P.M. when I arrived), and I basically couldn't understand a word they were saying.
Describe that low, low moment when you thought you just might have to leave NYC for good.
Probably around February or March of 2001. I was in a car, driving through a series of tunnels, and I emerged from the last one - and there was Pittsburgh.
Just after midnight on a Saturday - what are you doing?
Beginning to worry that the bar I'm in will be one of those that no longer obeys the smoking ban when it gets late enough.
What's the most expensive thing in your wardrobe?
My wardrobe is exclusively the accumulation of Christmas and birthday presents over the past decade. (And, you know, price tags dutifully removed...)
Who do you consider to be the greatest New Yorker of all-time?
Ron Duguay.
What happened the last time you went to L.A.?
It rained.
Of all the movies made about (or highly associated with) New York, what role would you have liked to be cast in?
King Kong.
The End of The World is finally happening. Be it the Rapture, War of Armageddon, or the Red Sox win the World Series. What are you going to do with your last 24 hours in NYC?
So the world will end this October, at Fenway Park? I plan to be in Boston.
Ben McGrath writes about "Donkeys in the Desert" in this week's New Yorker. Unrelated but still noteworthy, he hasn't been photographed since his Yale hockey team days.
