Telly MonsterHiram Cruz from the Bronx assaulted a seventeen year old who was playing Telly the monster at Sesame Place in Pennsylvania. Cruz who was with his wife and 9 year old child, shoved an umbrella into the Telly player's stomach. While the police don't think he meant harm - "He thought the costume had padding" - Gothamist says, for shame! Assaulting a Sesame Street character in front of your child. Gothamist knew that Telly was kind of a pain, freaking out about something, so we checked out Telly's bio on the Children's Television Workshop site, where he is called "Mr. Worrywart":

Telly Monster worries in all kinds of weather. He worries that it will rain. He worries that it won't rain. He worries that the rain won't stop. As a worrier, Telly often gets confused and frustrated. However, he never gives up, and he shows that trying again always pays off.

Birthday: September 29
Favorite Song: "Don't Worry, Be Happy"
Best Friends: Baby Bear and Oscar
Quote: "Are you sure it's going to be all right?"
Likes: Counting to forty; being a member of the Bobketeers
Dislikes: Surprises; squares and circles

Hmm. This is problematic, because Telly could probably ruin a good buzz in less than two shakes, but since Telly is a Libra like Gothamist, we'll stick up for him. But if pressed, though, Gothamist would smack Mumford the Magician on the upside of his foamy head. But not impale with an umbrella. Never. But which Sesame Street character would you kill?

Another senseless assault of someone in a costume: The Milwaukee Sausage Brouhaha.