Billionaire Rick Santorum lover Foster Friess may have tried to laugh off his comments about aspirin being a contraceptive as a terrible joke he would retire from his repertoire, but let's face it, he's just like Abe Simpson.

Friess's statement—"On this contraceptive thing, my Gosh it’s such [sic] inexpensive. You know, back in my days, they used Bayer aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees, and it wasn’t that costly"— is totally reminiscent of one of Grampa's stories: "We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say."