Please don't believe one word that the New York Times tells you—the New York Marble Cemetery in the East Village is a terrible, horrible, no good place, a truly wretched venue and you should never, ever consider holding an event there. Especially not a wedding. In fact, don't even visit it for its monthly open-houses! Stay away! Here's why:

If you've ever planned a wedding you know location is an important factor. And when you've got one that you love—and that is pretty uncommon—the last thing you want is to have the freakin' Times blow up your spot. Which is exactly what just happened to this Gothamist writer, a neighbor of the Cemetery who grew up sneaking into it to eat mulberries and has had the space booked for his nuptials for some time.

The Cemetery—a one acre oasis of green off Second Avenue in which there are no gravestones, only vaults of bodies that are labeled on the walls—is a truly wonderful East Village treasure that has luckily stayed somewhat obscure as the neighborhood boomed. And because of years of disuse and abuse, it does actually need the money from events to help pay for much needed repairs to its crumbling walls.

We guess we should have seen this coming after Stella McCartney decided to throw a carnival there last month, but still. It was bad enough that there have already been two other weddings there this year—though they were totally adorable! We may have watched them from a nearby window!—now every Tom, Dick and Harry is going to logging into the Cemetery's website to try and book it.

So please, for our sake, let's all just pretend the Times's story (and this post) never happened, mmkay? When people talk to you about that Cemetery in the East Village let's all just agree that they are talking about the New York City Marble Cemetery that has gravestones and is located one block to the east on Second Street (not First, as the Times erroneously reports). Thanks!