2006_01_andrewgoffmanlg.jpgName, age, occupation, where do you live and where are you from?
My name is Andrew Goffman, I am 36, I live in Forest Hills, Queens. I grew up in Blue Ball, PA about 7 miles from Intercourse, about an hour outside of Philadelphia. I lived in a two-story house at a dead end on Woodcock Lane. I loved it. It was also when my parents were their happiest. They loved each other, and adored me and my big sister Jan. We were truly happy.

You’re in a one man show - 'The Accidental Pervert' - that you’ve also written about being an ex-porn addict? What exactly is your play about?
The play is about my early exposure to pornography and how it affected the way I viewed women, sex and myself. At the age of 11, I accidentally stumbled across my Dad’s collection of pornographic tapes one day while rummaging through his closet. My parents had divorced and he had moved out. So I started snooping through his old stuff. When I came across those tapes and watched them, I was shocked, horrified, intrigued, all of those things. The images in those films really left an indelible impression in my mind’s eye.

Do you remember what the first pornographic movie you watched was? What do you remember about that experience? Did you have a favorite movie/actress?
In the show, we’ve gone to great lengths to track down those films that were such a part of my youth, for authenticity’s sake. The very first time I watched porn, I was confused. I didn’t know what exactly I was seeing. But I was drawn in. I was hooked.

The first pornographic movie I ever saw was Gerard Damiano's classic sex comedy Never So Deep staring Loni Sanders. There was this character of a very cool rich guy who lived in a mansion where he hung out in silk pajamas all day and published a sex magazine. I didn’t know it at the time because I was eleven years old, but evidently the writers of this particular porno video had been inspired by the head honcho of playboy himself.

In the video, the Hugh Hefner character meets up with this amazing woman, who gives him the best blowjob of his entire life. Which is saying quite a bit because you get the impression this is the kind of guy who has sampled quite a few.

Only then the woman mysteriously disappears. And now Hugh –who has always been such a cool, debonair, love em and leave em kind of guy—is broken hearted and crazed. He has to find the woman. He can’t bear to go through the rest of his life without another blowjob like that.

So he hires a couple of private detectives and he sets them out on the mission to locate the amazing blowjob woman. They only have one clue: She has a tattoo on her butt of a duckbill platypus.

The two detectives search far and wide, naturally. For some reason I don’t remember, the only way they can find out if a woman might be the one they’re looking for is to get her into bed, so they do that a lot, together, in threesomes. At one point they even get excited, thinking they’ve found their girl, only it turns out the tattoo the man has just spotted is only the temporary kind. It gets stuck on his tongue. And anyway, it’s just a butterfly.

But there’s a happy ending. They find the girl with the real tattoo. They bring her back to the Hefner guy’s mansion. It turns out she really loved being with him too—she never gave anyone a blowjob before that liked it so much as he did, so everyone’s got what they wanted. Who says there are no happy endings?

How has your life changed because of and since your addiction to adult films?
Well, I think it affects you. I think it affects all men. Most men have their first encounter with sex through pornography. This is how many of us learn what sex is. And I think it is ultimately a miseducation. Then we have to re-learn everything to have normal sexual relationships with real women. So I think it’s a life long struggle. It’s amazing how many men begin to open up and tell their stories to me after they see the show.

How does acting in your show different that the comedy circuit, which you’ve toured on?

That is something that was a goal from day one. And something that director Charles Messina and I worked on extensively. Our goal was to create a dramatic play and not a stand up routine. While the show incorporates a good deal of my stand up material, it is now within the framework of a drama. It has a through-line, an arc. It’s not just random anecdotes or punch lines. It’s a story. My story. It is still very funny. At least I hope it is!

What place or thing would you declare a landmark?
The Triad Theater. Just Kidding.

What advice, if any, would you give to Mayor Bloomberg?
Nothing, the man is a genius and should be President. I hope he comes to see my show or at least checks out my website: www.TheAccidentalPervert.com

When you just need to get away from it all, where is your favorite place in NYC to be alone?
My bathroom. Kidding. Central Park!

'The Accidental Pervert' runs from from February 2, 2006 to February 24, 2006 at The Triad Theater (158 West 72nd St.). 10% of the proceeds from the show will go to Broadway Cares/Equity Fights Aids. You can purchase tickets to the show here or by calling 212-868-4444.

Photo of 'The Accidental Pervert' by Paul Urban