After School Specials. You remember them. You learned from them. They made you scared of candy, your own body, and even that older gentleman who lived nextdoor.

In an effort to look back on the awkward years of adolescence and understand them better, UnionDocs will be screening two masterpieces selected from ABC's After School Specials tonight.

The first, Schoolboy Father (1980), features a very, very young Rob Lowe who must deal with the consequences of his summer camp conquest (Dana Plato, of Different Strokes). Rest assured that after witnessing young Rob's transformation, you will never look at a school, boy, or father in quite the same way again.

The second, Ace Hits the Big Time (1985), is almost indescribable. Part musical, part parody, part deconstruction of the narrative form, this life lesson features Rob Stone of Mr. Belvedere fame. What should you do when dropped into the middle of a gang war, especially when it's between the Purple Falcons and the Piranhas, two flamboyantly-dressed rivals? Well, you better come or you'll never know.

2005_07_artsschoolboyfather.jpgDespite having missed these two specials when they originally aired, Gothamist somehow made it through the teen years without joining a gang or becoming a schoolboy father.

Each screening will be preceded by short UnionDocs presentations on adolescence.

UnionDocs is located at 322 Union Avenue, Williamsburg. 8:30p show. $5 suggested donation, beer provided.