The rugs on those American Apparel mannequins are really something, huh? Notable not only for the fact that they exist, they're also prodigious, straining against mesh panties like a furry Rorschach test or a bundle of untroubled Daddy longlegs. In the center, the Head Mannequin peers imperially from within her sweat-shop free prison, fingers gently brushing her chin in thought. She's looking at us the same way we, and someday, historical scholars, are looking at her. "What are those pubes made from, anyway?" we both wonder.

In a quest for answers, here are the results of several Google search terms I never thought I would type at my place of work, much less forward along to my colleagues. (And our interns!)

"Mannequin Merkin":

This leads to a very earnest message board called "The Doll Forum," billed as "the world's definitive resource on love dolls and erotic dolls for adults since 2001." User Decibelbass has the following query:

Has any body had experience with any Merkins (Pubic Wig) on mannequins. I am looking at some online to add to my girl and wanted some input on anyone elses experience. I have seen the pussycat patch http://www.pussycatpatch.com/catalog/c1_p1.html and some others on ebay. Any suggestions are appreciated.

Discussion meanders through several highly detailed suggestions, including but not limited to "Arab beards" (!) and the merits of clear silicone glue as an adhesive, but I stopped reading after seeing offer for "gray...real human hair :)"

"Mannequin Pubes, Material"

This takes us back to last year, when Lady Gaga buried in her tour rider, right along with the "2 Lavendar Hand towels" and "ALL NECESSARY SPOONS" her need for a "manquin [sic] with puffy pink public [sic] hair."

What material are the American Apparel pubes made out of?

First result: The Wikipedia entry for "merkin." We've all read this, but here's a refresher.

A merkin is a pubic wig. Merkins were originally worn by prostitutes after shaving their genitalia, and are now used as decorative items, erotic devices, or in films, by both men and women. The female version is usually made of fur, linen or some soft version of cloth, while the male version is usually made of loops, chains or metal, much more closely related to the codpiece. [citation needed]

"Why do mannequins..."

011614pubes.jpg

Kudos to inquiring minds for wondering why mannequins not only have nipples, but why they need them. "Because they were created by Joel Schumacher" is the best answer.

And finally, here come the haunting selection of Google images. Look for more of this at your local American Apparel later this year.

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