Legendary Rolling Stones guitarist and songwriter Keith Richards, the living embodiment of the "rock and roll lifestyle" circa 1969™, turned 70 years young today! Whether he's signing copies of his autobiographies, falling out of trees, or hanging out with Jennifer Lopez, Richards does everything like a rock star. As a small token of our appreciation for the coolest human being in recorded history, we've put together 70 photos spanning his whole life that gives you a rare glimpse into the aging process—and prove that there is a proper fedora and headband for every occasion.

You'll soon see that there's nothing undignified about a man using a bit of makeup to try to minimize the fact that he is literally turning into a prune.