HAPPY CHRISTMAS (watch on Netflix)
If you liked Drinking Buddies, you'll like Happy Christmas, because it was written and directed by the same guy: Joe Swanberg. These movies are both basically, like, "This is about as realistically happy as you're ever going to be." And you're like, "Who said that?" And the movies are like, "Down here, waaaaaaay down here... you gotta lower your bar on this happiness thing. Sink to the floor and have more whiskey." But you know, in a weirdly uplifting way.
BEAUTIFUL GIRLS (watch on Netflix)
This movie is just about perfect, especially if you've ever returned to a small, one-stoplight hometown for the holidays. It may even romanticize it all a bit, and you'll probably end up wanting to have a one night stand in the ice fishing house after being over-served Buds at the local bar. It will also make you wonder what you're doing with your life, but when is that not the case?
LOVE ACTUALLY (watch on Netflix)
This movie actually gets worse every year, and yet we return, and return. The above scene, for example, is upon first viewing the most romantic thing ever. But if you look closer, it's pretty messed up—this guy who once seemed adorably shy and goofy is actually kind of just totally obsessed with looks, and he's absolutely willing to be an asshole to his happily married best friend by stealing his wife upon their return from their honeymoon. Also, remember when Liam Neeson tells his very young stepson that he wants to fuck Claudia Schiffer in his bedroom? ANYWAY, it still has its charms, and it's leaving Netflix January 1st, so it's now or nev... next year when it will almost definitely return.
FIREPLACE FOR YOUR HOME CHRISTMAS MUSIC EDITION (watch on Amazon Prime)
Listen, almost none of us have fireplaces, it's one of the many, many, many sacrifices we make to live in New York City. Here, we have to pay $13 for a glass of wine at a bar that has a fireplace... but you know what, you'll never get a seat near it anyway so why even bother. Instead, we must watch a fire burning in the fireplace of an idyllic, spacious Los Angeles home... via our television or laptop. Were these made just to mock New Yorkers? Turn it up and look closely at the 28-minute mark, where you can see Moby through the flames, laughing at us all.
FIREPLACE FOR YOUR HOME (watch on Netflix)
This one is said to "replicate the peacefulness of an old-fashioned, wood-burning fireplace, as well as a crackling yule log fireplace." One viewer even declared, "I cried when the fire spread to the other log." Although it doesn't boast it in the title, it is also set to holiday tunes. It's possible this is actually the same exact fireplace as the Amazon Prime one.