Standing in line for the Porta-Pottie, the shiny bracelet winks at you, glinting from the wrist of an arm that swings carefree. "Oh, the chosen," you mumble, staring at the stressed colored paper above your calloused hands. Wait, they're not walking into the Normal VIP area. Is that a cabana? Are those Cabanas? At Governors Ball? Yes, there are Cabanas at Governors Ball. And they are $30,000 for the three-day weekend.

The cabanas, which include "light buffet catering," all-inclusive beverage service, and access to massage therapists, can accommodate 16 people. Technically this is cheaper than if they all bought $2,000 Super VIP tickets, so this is a value—a savings, if you will. Just $625 per head, which is roughly $400 cheaper than it would cost for you to convince 15 friends to pay $2,000 for a 3-day VIP pass. General admission tickets are sold out.

Then again, you could get a cabana and not let anyone in—just have the helicopter pilot maintain a nice basic hover 200 feet or so above your cabana and watch the bouncers do their thing on anyone dumb enough to stumble near your cabana. (Day 3: The flies are overpowering the cabana. I used an empty bottle of Grey Goose to fend off a dreadlocked couple demanding water. Gave them vodka. They seemed cool.)

Maybe do a few quick triumphant laps around the stage before heading home. Typical Governors Ball weekend. See you at Bonnaroo.