Reports of Williamsburg's demise have, for years, been mildly exaggerated. Some decided the neighborhood was "so over" when Kokie's inhaled its last key bump, or when Stinger Club shut down, or when Rubulad left South 5th Street, or when Monkey Town closed, or Galapagos moved to DUMBO, or after Verb went bust, or the Pool Parties were drained, or J. Crew opened. Vice Media killed Death by Audio last week, but even that wasn't quite the end of Williamsburg, either. Instead, the time of death has been recorded as December 6th, 2014, when the official "RIP Williamsburg" funeral procession wound through Glasslands, which will close on New Year's Eve.
The funeral party for Williamsburg was organized by CHERYL, a self-described "artist collective and band of hand models" based in Brooklyn. On Saturday night they invited mourners to don funeral costumes, offering these sartorial suggestions: "Think FUNeral, Victorian Mourning Merkins, Starbucks Baristas, All Black Everything, Whole Foods Suttee, Goth Immigrants, Winking Widows, Vintage Sorrow, Mast Brothers Conquistadors, Asian Tapas, and Scrooge McDuck."
Some funeral attendees simply wore headpieces with photos of Vice's Shane Smith on them. Vice is taking over the space, and on the previous night the marketing company held an exuberant invite-only party in the Brooklyn Navy Yards. Scarlett Johansson performed. At Glasslands, Williamsburg's funeral culminated with a coffin crowd-surfing around the room.
Whatever, it's all about Staten Island now.