Who wants to buy a sleek new condo or a boring old brownstone? This place has PIZAZZ. Housed inside of 243 West 98th Street, this home doubles as a portal into every human being's nightmares. Just think about all of that power.

Filled with a hellish dreamscape of dolls, clowns, marionettes and what looks like an Evil Humpty Dumpty, the 3-bedroom unit would be perfect for someone that finds their aesthetic is somewhere between Mommy Dearest and John Wayne Gacy. There's one catch, though: you cannot live in the apartment. If you lived here you would run the risk of accidentally repositioning one of the clowns or dolls, which would shake an entire alternate universe out of whack, changing the course of future events that only the current tenant of the home knows about.

So what does your $1.2 million get you, if not a place to live? You get to be the gatekeeper. You will be one of only two people to hold the key to this special universe, which is currently being protected by a tenant who is probably never going to leave the $830 a month rent-controlled space. [h/t Alex Shephard]