Science: Weight Loss, What Is It Good For? (Improving Memory)
Ever since we discovered the USA Today "Your Life" section, we find ourselves caring intensely about Dwight Howard's diabetes, and really wanting to get to the bottom of this mystery of the girl who hit puberty at age six. But it's the studies which they collect, like amateur belly button lint enthusiasts, that most titillate us. And a new study they feature this week has finally uncovered a reason to go through with all that weight loss stuff: because it makes you more attractive, aids your self-confidence and ensures a healthier, longer life it improves your memory!
Inject Hormone From Pregnant Ladies' Urine, Lose Weight?
Women across America "are streaming into doctors’ offices and weight-loss clinics" and paying upward of $1,000 a month for syringes and a supply of the pregnancy hormone hCG, the NY Times reports in a fascinating article about the diet trend. The hormone, which is derived from the urine of pregnant women, is highly controversial—the FDA has warned that hCG has not been shown to help weight loss or to “decrease hunger and discomfort” from low-calorie diets. But hCG seems to be popular once again, and some doctors are happy to prescribe it.
Chris Christie Has Been Going to the Gym?
Has famously rotund Jersey Governor Chris Christie lost weight? The AP thinks so. Though Christie is keeping his mouth shut ("I'm not going to put any numbers on it because you just set yourself up for failure," the 48-year-old Republican said) the news source seems certain that "his suits have been getting noticeably baggy." We haven't really noticed ourselves, but we haven't really been paying attention. And as the man himself said, his losing weight is like "throwing a couple deck chairs off of the Titanic."
CC Sabathia's Diet Secret: Stop Eating Cap'n Crunch
The Yankees' ace CC Sabathia says that he lost 25 pounds easily: By cutting out Cap'n Crunch cereal from his diet. He told reporters today, "I stopped eating Cap'n Crunch every day I used to eat that stuff by the box." Now he's 290 pounds, down from 315 pounds—"I'm actually what it says on the back of my card."
Kris Jenkins Beats Rex Ryan in Weight Loss Challenge
We're not professional athletes or anything, but it sounds like eating diet cookies and shakes just before NFL training camp isn't the healthiest idea. Where's the Campbell's Chunky?! But Jets defensive tackle Kris Jenkins has been on the Dr. Siegal's Cookie Diet since May, and beat coach Rex Ryan in a weight loss competition by shedding 33.6 pounds. Ryan only lost 20 since issuing the challenge, though he has lost 55 pounds since getting lap band surgery. As a reward for winning, a donation will be made to Jenkins' chosen charity, Life Pieces to Masterpieces.
Chelsea Clinton Tells Bill To Drop 15 Pounds
Former President Bill Clinton amused the audience at a fiscal summit in D.C. by revealing daughter Chelsea wants him to lose some weight before her wedding, "She doesn't think I'm in shape to handle it. You know, she told me the other day, she said, ‘Dad the only thing you gotta do is walk me down the aisle and you need to look good’So I said ‘Well, what's your definition?’ And she said: ‘Oh, about 15 pounds.’ So I'm halfway home." (Chelsea is getting married to Marc Mezvinsky.) The former president also weighed in on the Goldman Sachs debacle, saying he was unsure whether the firm broke the law. Coincidence that Mezvinsky works at Goldman?
Snuggie Sauna: Your New Weight Loss Detox Destination
Sure, you use your Snuggie to go bar hopping, fornicate comfortably, and walk the runway, but the Snuggie's most valuable purpose has yet to be fully explored... until now! Take it away, press release: "What if you could burn 600 calories in 15 minutes
in a Snuggie? That’s what the latest medi-spa treatment is promising using Far Infrared Ray technology. The 'Snuggie Sauna' (official name: Relax Far Infrared Ray Sauna) improves blood circulation, promotes lymphatic drainage and cellular renewal, increases metabolism, burns calories without lactic acid production, promotes better sleep and detoxifies the body from heavy metals, including mercury and cadmium—all in 15-20 minutes."

