Results tagged “urine”

You'll recall that neighbors living near the revoltingly trendy Delicatessen in Soho are getting really fed up with all the obnoxious tools blathering through the night, with one man going so far as to urinate down onto the roof, which is part glass. Could this be the same scold who led a near-riot last night, according to this priceless email sent to Eater by one witness? "Some young super-angry dude storms up to the bar and starts laying into the bartending staff screaming shit like, 'Fuck you!!! Fuck your restaurant!!! Fuck your hipstery little patrons who think they are so fucking cool!!! People fucking live on this block!!! I can hear these people screaming outside my fucking apartment all fucking night!!!'" The situation escalated "when a bunch of people in the apartments above the sidewalk tables simultaneously dumped buckets of water down on the people dining below." Worse, it wasn't even sparkling water!

We're sure that one Long Island father thought to himself, "If I can't use my for a urine test, I'll use my child's urine..." when he decided to take his 9-year-old out of school. The problem is, Suffolk police officers happened to be passing by the deli where the 36-year-old father and son were and became suspicious when they saw "the child fixing his pants and watched as the father poured something from a coffee...