Six hundred thirty-four Brooklyn Students, one pot to poop in: the Daily News reports on a truly crappy situation at Science Skills Center High School, where the school has allegedly only kept one of five working toilets open for the past month. And it's left students traumatized: "It was awful—and not just the smell or the line. It was the pee all over the place and the terrible plumbing," said 16-year-old Kianna Cole. To resolve this conflict, perhaps the school could get everyone together and have a block potty? more ›

If you've ever eaten an entire package of Oreos and thought, "Yeah I could swallow 3 pounds of heroin and smuggle it through JFK to take care of these student loans, no problem," you should know that the airport has made it even easier for Customs agents to nab the contents of your bowels as evidence. The Daily News visited the "Drug Loo" at JFK, which "separates the waste from what are called 'pellets' or 'balloons,' small latex packets of heroin, cocaine or other drugs." What did authorities do before Science invented this robot toilet? It involved "officers sifting through used bed pans." No thanks, we'll stick to staring at ladyparts in the security line. more ›

Like Charlie Bucket desperately trying to find his way into the chocolate factory, last week a Mets fan dug so hard for her golden tooth that she got her arm stuck in a Citi Field toilet as its automatic flusher flooded over her time and again. Fans started becoming more interested in the unnamed fan's struggle that turned out to be as futile as the Mets' twelve inning losing battle with the Braves last Wednesday. Team officials had to call in Cardoza Plumbing, the company that installed the low-flow "green" toilets that "use powerful vacuum suction to cut down on water use." The Post talks to a plumber who tells them, "The truth is, this kind of thing happens all the time—usually with wedding rings or cellphones. People have probably been getting their hands stuck in toilets as long as there have been toilets." The paper mentions the 2003 cell phone flushing fiasco on a Metro North train and a woman in China stuck for two days trying to save her pet turtle (and by "turtle", they secretly mean "alligator"). At the very least, it sounds like this unfortunate Met fan deserves a sympathetic call from T-Pain—don't we all? more ›