Results tagged “theonion”

If we only have three minutes on a subway platform to skim through The Onion, it's basically going to involve checking the headlines, the editorial cartoon and The Tolerability Index, an infographic of this week's pop culture travesties, as compiled by Amelie Gillette, aka "The Hater." Gillette has a terrific ability to serve as a cultural thermometer—both catching absurd things we might have missed (that Mary Jo Buttofuoco's new book was called "Getting It Through My Thick Skull") or calling out unfamiliar targets that go unchecked (say, Funny or Die videos). She more than earns her Hater nickname with the barbs dished in the Index, but yet also reveals a real soft spot for the absurdity of it all on The Onion AV Club's blog and in her weekly column, Pop Culture Love Letters.

This generation's obsession with instant nostalgia and visually documenting every part of their daily lives serves as the punchline in this Onion News Network piece. In the story, an NYU dorm is set ablaze during a party, and "after examining the evidence from the 25 iPhones, 15 Blackberries, 10 video cameras and 40 digital cameras obtained from the students who attended the party" the entire event was reconstructed, placing blame on chain smoking 22-year-old Danny Gordon.

Horrible, unfunny rumors that The Onion is shutting down some of their regional print editions were being confirmed and denied all over the internet today. Gawker reported that a source told them the publication has "already laid off editorial and sales staff for its Los Angeles and San Francisco print editions, which will cease publication. Tomorrow's editions of The Onion are said to be the last ones for those markets."

Onion writer John Harris (pictured) is trying to sell an unspecified joke on eBay because he "can't find a contextual home" for it. The punchline is that bids have already soared to $365, despite his self-effacing sales pitch: "To be fair, it's less of a joke and more of a dated, Capote-esque cocktail party bon mot, but decidedly more feeble. The best one can reasonably expect from this item is a self-satisfied chuckle, such as can be observed issuing from someone wearing a turtleneck while reading the Harper's Index. If that didn't make you barf, please continue reading. The item in question will be clearly hand-printed on a 3x5 index card and mailed to the winning bidder upon receipt of payment. It has never been used, and the buyer assumes all responsibility for any consequences that might stem from sharing this joke, including the dissolution of friendships and romantic relationships due to loss of respect." [Via The Comic's Comic]

This Sunday marks the annual Gay Pride Parade. The march will run from 5th Avenue & 52nd St. to Christopher & Greenwich St. beginning at noon -- so either join in on the fun, or adjust your driving and walking routes lest you incur some delays (NYC DoT has some tips). This year should be especially celebratory given that same-sex marriage is now legal in California!

My endorsement of this measure, issued in blue covers, first referred to as the “blue Bills”, have come to be known, on late night Talkshows, as “The Blue Balls.” This, while accurate, is disrespectful to my Office.

This week in the Times, Bruni two-stars Blue Ribbon Sushi Bar & Grill (the new one, at Columbus Circle). After a few rocky meals immediately after the opening, “the food has been consistently first-rate,” says Bruni. “Much of it also reflects the [owners’, Eric and Bruce] Bromberg’s winning playfulness.” He also says that while the sushi isn't the best in town, the fried chicken may be.

ART: Art, fashion and blogs meet tonight at the Met. In an exhibition entitled blog.mode: addressing fashion, viewers will be able to comment on what they see. It's "the first in a series of shows designed to promote critical and creative dialogues about fashion. The exhibition presents some forty costumes and accessories dating from the eighteenth century to the present." Visitors are then encouraged to share their reactions online or from a "blogbar" of computer terminals in the exhibition galleries. Pictured is one of the dresses -- you know you have comment about it.

Being heir to $12 million can be a real dog. Especially if you're Trouble Helmsley, the cherished Maltese owned by the late real estate developer Leona Helmsley. "Queen of Mean" Helmsley shocked people from the grave by leaving $12 million to the pooch, which was more than what her grandchildren (combined) inherited. Helmsley's friend John Codey, who oversees Helmsley's trust, reveals that there have been many death threats: "We received any number of threats to...

Oh, no, is the city going to ban the purchase of Crayola Sidewalk Chalk? The Brooklyn Paper exposes the "new face of vandalism?": 6-year-old Natalie Shea, whose mother got a warning letter from the Department of Sanitation about the chalk drawings her daughter drew on their front stoop. The letter read, “PLEASE REMOVE THE GRAFFITI FROM YOUR PROPERTY. FAILURE TO COMPLY … MAY RESULT IN ENFORCEMENT ACTION AGAINST YOU.”

The Onion News Network has a parody broadcast on what would happen if country music stars challenged Al-Qaeda to "just reduce New York City to a pile of rubble," saying it wouldn't affect them much. The challenge comes in the form of a patriotic number called "Bomb New York."

Last night Top Chef began with a Quickfire Challenge consisting of everyone cooking Padma breakfast...we swear she thinks of the challenges when she's stoned (see: the onion cutting relay. C'mon!). After the "food awakening" they were in for a rude awakening. Sent to New York City, the contestants seemed genuinely happy when they saw the Manhattan skyline...but their dreams were dashed when they were held in New Jersey for a day at Newark Airport. Cooking airplane food. Oh dear.

MOVIE: The 2006 Clark Kent hit the big screen in Superman Returns. Tonight catch the superhero do his thing all over again at the River Flicks outdoor film series. Free popcorn, free film and a nice cold summer breeze. Bring a blanket!

On the national level, sales of existing homes slowed by 17 percent in the second quarter of 2007, compared with the second quarter of 2006, while inventory swelled by 16 percent, according to figures provided by the National Association of Realtors. New homes fared even worse: they fell by almost 19 percent, according to Commerce Department figures.

Continue reading "New York City's Teflon Real Estate Market"

With the economy acting as though it's on a roller coaster given concerns about credit and mortgage markets, NYC real estate brokers are feeling the pains. Some potential buyers who would have qualified before issues with the mortgage markets now find themselves struggling to get the loans they need and being asked to put more of their money down. However, we will say it's hard to be sympathetic to someone looking for a $3.3 million mortgage or someone who makes $500,000/year failing to get an $850,000 mortgage, which were two examples in the NY Times.

We just wanted to give you one final reminder about tomorrow's Gothamist-Serious Eats/AHT QBQ BBQ at Water Taxi Beach. The event starts at 5 pm and it's rain or shine. If it does rain, don't worry, we'll already be stationed in the covered area of Water Taxi Beach (pictured above). Those of you who attended last year may remember that there was stormy weather last year too.

It's burger time! This weekend is the second annual Gothamist-Serious Eats/A Hamburger Today QBQ BBQ at Water Taxi Beach. Your votes determined the burgers on the menu: the onion burger, the butter burger (pictured), and the pimento cheese burger. Six Apart will be sponsoring the event with a keg of Orlio and Gothamist/Serious Eats/A Hamburger Today will also be supplying an additional keg of beer. Tickets, which get you three burgers, are $13.50 and are available online. Don't forget to bring ID -- they're serious. There will be a tent covering seating areas for the event, which is rain or shine.

For all of you that were waiting to find out which burgers would be served at Saturday's Gothamist-Serious Eats/A Hamburger Today QBQ BBQ at Water Taxi Beach, the burger menu has been finalized. The winning burgers, as determined by voters, were: the onion burger, the butter burger, and the pimento cheese burger.

If you have yet to vote what burger should be on the menu at next weekend's Gothamist-Serious Eats/A Hamburger Today QBQ BBQ at Water Taxi Beach, today is your last chance. Since we announced the event on Monday, the leading vote getter is the onion burger, followed by the butter burger and the pimento burger. Only the top three vote-getters will make the menu for the July 28th event. Also up for contention are the Motz burger, the guber burger, the nut burger, and the hammmburger. For descriptions of each burger, check out our previous post. There will also be a keg of Orlio Common Ale provided by Six Apart.

READING: It's New York Murder Mystery Night with novelists Jed Rubenfeld, Joel Rose, and historian Ben Feldman. The trio will be discussing New York’s famous 19th-century murders, including the bizarre events behind Butchery on Bond Street.

After the success of our Gothamist-A Hamburger Today QBQ BBQ last year (that's quality before quantity), we've decided to team up with Serious Eats/A Hamburger Today for another burger event at Water Taxi Beach in Long Island City. At last year's event, Chef Harry Hawk served up four regional burgers from around the nation. This year, you get to choose what burgers are served, with the top three vote-getters across Gothamist, Serious Eats, and A Hamburger Today making the menu.

HAPPY HOUR: You read the Onion, and you probably drink whiskey...so why not combine the two tonight? The Onion crew enjoys the simple pleasures of life in WIlliamsburg with some free Jameson Irish Whiskey in the name of alcohol preservation.

Comedian Liam McEneaney has been blogging for over five years. In that time he's been on Best Week Ever, Premium Blend, and started his weekly show Tell Your Friends, which can be seen every Monday at 8 for free at the Lolita Bar and features talent from the likes of Conan O'Brien, the Onion, and Comedy Central. If that's not reason enough to check out Liam, perhaps this interview is.

PARTY: The L Magazine celebrates their fourth year and 100th issue tonight at their Fourth-Annual Centennial Party. There will be complimentary tequila and goodies from Brooklyn Industries and Crumpler. Come, drink, celebrate and don't think about the hangover you'll have tomorrow.

We've all heard the old adage that there's nothing more dangerous in the kitchen than a dull knife. A sharp knife cuts cleanly through things. A dull knife forces you to use more pressure, then may bounce off the surface of the onion you're trying to slice and onto another surface, such as--for instance--your hand. Ouch!

The fall out from restaurateur Jeffrey Chodorow's full page NY Times ad complaining about Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni continues, much to the delight of foodies, critics of restaurant critics, and mental health professionals. Last Friday, former Times food critic Mimi Sheraton wrote in Slate that Chodorow was an "idiot" to run an ad, given "the added exposure of the negative review to so many who may never have read the original."

Texas is thawing, the Northeast is freezing, and a sort of natural order seems almost restored to the Ist-A-Verse. Almost.

READING: Here's something awesome to spice up your week - from Housing Works Used Book Cafe's website: "Jest Fest 06, a celebration of the 10th Anniversary of David Foster Wallace's INFINITE JEST. Join John Krasinski (The Office), Todd Hanson (The Onion), Lev Grossman (Time Magazine), and Laura Miller (Salon) in reading from and talking about the book. Audience participation strongly encouraged!" Nerdy goodness abounds! - Krissa Corbett Cavouras

You may recognize Jon Glaser from his appearances on Conan, Wonder Showzen, or Cheap Seats. You may have even heard his track on the Invite Them Up CD compilation, where he reads a series of letters written by his recently deceased father to the band ZZ Top. By the track's end, one thing is certain: Jon Glaser is a comedic genius.

THEATER: This week marks your last chance to see TRUTH {the heart is a million little pieces above all things}, a one-man show by Mike Daisey that NYMetro declares “a delirious, brainy, hilarious, infuriating experience from which one emerges perversely hopeful.” The play follows the fictional and non-fictional stories of James Frey's self-destruction, the sordid and shocking tale of J.T. LeRoy, and Fernando Pessoa, a Portuguese poet whose great works were written by warring multiple personalities inside his head. These stories are reflected against an autobiographical accounting of Daisey's own history of lying and telling the truth. - John Del Signore