"Why are the people at our school fucking retarded?" wonders one University of Massachusetts-Amherst student as she videotapes the wild scene on campus from the safety of her dorm room last night. On the quad below, an estimated 1,500 students had gathered so express their outrage at billionaire Robert Kraft's devastating Super Bowl loss. Students set off fireworks, threw bottles, and chanted "Fuck the Giants" until riot police arrived, at which point the chant segued to "Fuck the police." Here's a bird's eye video from the dorm room, complete with co-ed commentary: more ›

There's now a 4,769th reason to detest the new Yankee Stadium—with a players' parking area now inside the new stadium, fans lose their big window of opportunity to chase down stars and try to get an autograph. The Times described the scene as "players now drive in and out in luxury vehicles, protected from curious eyes by tinted windows." And they must have just caught players on a day when their Pharaoh's carriages were in the shop. Between the new entry setup and the luxury seats near the dugout off-limits to the rest of the stadium (even during batting practice), fans have little chance to grab a John Hancock. One fan says, “I don’t think the players realize these kids, when they’re 60 years old, remember getting that autograph. That’s how they become season-ticket holders.” Yankee spokesman Jason Zillo said the team is working to address the situation. Until then, the team offers autographed baseballs at Yankees-Steiner Collectibles ranging from $50-$2,500. more ›

Like Charlie Bucket desperately trying to find his way into the chocolate factory, last week a Mets fan dug so hard for her golden tooth that she got her arm stuck in a Citi Field toilet as its automatic flusher flooded over her time and again. Fans started becoming more interested in the unnamed fan's struggle that turned out to be as futile as the Mets' twelve inning losing battle with the Braves last Wednesday. Team officials had to call in Cardoza Plumbing, the company that installed the low-flow "green" toilets that "use powerful vacuum suction to cut down on water use." The Post talks to a plumber who tells them, "The truth is, this kind of thing happens all the time—usually with wedding rings or cellphones. People have probably been getting their hands stuck in toilets as long as there have been toilets." The paper mentions the 2003 cell phone flushing fiasco on a Metro North train and a woman in China stuck for two days trying to save her pet turtle (and by "turtle", they secretly mean "alligator"). At the very least, it sounds like this unfortunate Met fan deserves a sympathetic call from T-Pain—don't we all? more ›