After esteemed ratings agency Standard & Poor's lowered the United States' credit rating from AAA to AA+ (and three "Great Job!" stickers down to one) the markets are still taking time to "bottom out," in the words of Alan Greenspan, and Washington and Wall Street find themselves mired in the Kübler-Ross model of the Five Stages of Grief. Grab a bottle of Night Train and cut your last Prozac in half so you can make your journey through America's psyche go a little smoother. more ›

The Dow and the S&P 500 both closed down about 5% today in a day of heavy losses. The Dow was down 443 points and closed below 9,000 amidst fears of a prolonged recession that even superhero President-elect Obama may be not be able to turn around. "Everything is so dismal right now, it's just an endless flow of bad news and no one wants to buy," despaired equity trader Dave Rovelli, who could really benefit by reading today's heartwarming good news about the Starbucks wedding proposal! CNN reports that investors are fearful about tomorrow's big monthly jobs report. Also, too, October retail sales from the chain stores were mostly "abysmal," the housing market is still collapsing, and even the recent dip in gas prices has not improved consumer spending. "People are realizing that the recession is going to drag on until at least the end of 2009," Rovelli whines. LA LA LA LA Can't hear you, Rovelli! Starbucks wedding proposal! Doggie costumes! Sasha and Malia get a puppy! more ›

Of course, the continued high cost of fuel remains a brake on the economy. And if there's one thing that financial markets abhor, it is uncertainty. With the Presidential election eleven months off and a wide variety of candidates bandying about different economic proposals, it becomes difficult for investors to plan for or around what the future may hold. In short, hang on. As one analyst for Standard & Poor's wrote in a research note that was quoted in the Times, "The best investment may be in aspirins and a neck brace."
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