How much is a new senior sandbox worth in Flushing? According to the Daily News, a new bocce court the city is installing in Bowne Park will cost $507,000. “We all thought it was ridiculously high,” Community Board 7's parks committee chairman said. “Five-hundred-and-seven thousand dollars and a year for wood and dirt? Give me a break.” Well, we are living in an era of $15 pencil sharpenings. more ›

As if the college application process wasn't hard enough, Vassar College had to go and punk 76 kids into thinking they got into the popular liberal arts college when they most certainly had not. So as a token of its regret the school is now...refunding the screwed students their $65 application fees. On the one hand the school admits that payday will be "of very little consolation" but on the other hand? These kids have college-application-from-hell stories to tell for the rest of their lives! more ›

The family of a man injured in a motorcycle accident involving a 90-year-old driver is questioning whether someone that age should even be on the road. 55-year-old Angel Colon is suing 90-year-old Marion Clement after his leg was partially amputated due to an accident in Ancram. Clement was driving a rented minivan to visit her disabled son when she made a left into a group of motorcyclists. "They don't rent to 21-year-olds. Why should they rent to a 90-year-old?" Colon's wife asks the Post. Yeah! Who let that senior citizen out of her cage? more ›

New York City is really getting gay these days. We've got the gays getting gay married all over the place, a gay "urban resort" in the works and now comes word that we'll soon be home to the nation's first LGBT senior center. Because gay people get old and want to complain about how nobody visits them to their gay friends, too! more ›

There's trouble in Palm Beach. More specifically, the Palm Beach Home, a nursing home located next to an Asian-fusion restaurant/nightclub in Sheepshead Bay named OPM. Ha ha GET IT?! "Opium!" Like that substance that was responsible for the death and misery of millions of Chinese and the foisting of British colonial might upon an innocent people! The Palm Beach Home's director tells the Post that they can't stand the "oom-sts" emanating out of the bar, and that "you know it's loud when you have 100-year-old people without their hearing aids complaining that the noise keeps them up at night." No problem, just jack up the surround sound and pass the OPM pipe during Matlock. more ›

Now that everybody in the school already knows which biddies want to tap which hotties, the Department of Education has condemned Stuyvesant High School's "crush list." Though the tradition of posting a "crush list" goes back years for the school, this year students were able to write names under headings like "I'd Tap That." DOE spokesman David Cantor told the Post, "From what I've seen, the students' lists are essentially harmless, but don't belong in a school display case." But is the title really that bad? more ›

The NYPD says a computer database glitch is responsible for repeatedly dispatching officers to a Brooklyn house where two law-abiding senior citizens reside. Since 2002, cops have knocked on the door of a Marine Park home owned by 83-year-old Walter Martin and his 82-year-old wife Rose at least 50 times in search of witnesses, accused robbers, and murder suspects. more ›

The whole sexting phenomena that has teenagers transmitting dirty words and photos to each other via their cellular devices... has now hit the senior set. And we're not talking high school seniors, we're talking your grandparents. WCBS reports that the 50 and older crowd may have even started the trend years ago. One older sexter says, "The world is becoming ageless. There is no expiration date on sexy." However, she says the seniors are more apt to send sensuous over blatantly sexual message, and the only other difference is that "you need reading glasses to see what the heck they're saying." Also, this all hit the AARP newsletter late last year, where the article begins: "When Roger gets to an intimate stage with a woman these days, it usually doesn't take long until the sexy photos start." O-M-Gross.... or O-M-Good for them? more ›

Patrick Swayze once memorably declared to Jerry Orbach, "No one puts Baby in the corner." But now a group of older men in Staten Island are declaring to their condo's board that "no one puts Poppy in the corner" either. The group of New Springville seniors call themselves "The Fined Five" after receiving $25 fines last winter when the board decided that their usual kibitzing in the lobby was loitering. The property manager said that "it's not a 55-and-older building," but compromised by finding them an unoccupied studio to hang out in. But now the men complain that they're being confined, with one saying, "I can't stay inside my sheetrock walls all day; I'll go crazy." So the Fined Five is suing the board, saying that their banishment is illegal and unnecessary. A neighbor whose apartment is adjoined to the lobby tells the SI Advance, "It's a bunch of old guys sitting around and talking about their wartime remembrances and fixing the motors in their cars. They're a lovely bunch of gentlemen." When asked what they do there, one of the Five told the Post, "We don't play Johnny on the pony in the lobby." more ›

With high school graduations quickly approaching, it’s time for the annual day where 17-year-olds look back on their twelve-plus years of free education and ditch any tender moments of gratitude or nostalgia in lieu of creating pure chaos: Senior Prank Day. Yesterday in Queens, Richmond Hill High School's pranks turned into a riot with ten students arrested and the school put on lockdown—all before 10 a.m. The arrests were spurred on when authorities arrived in response to a fire alarm students had pulled. On top of that, the Post reports that departing seniors "threw baby powder, oil, food, paint, barbecue sauce and eggs all over the school's second floor, causing a panic." Windows were broken and computers damaged. One student gave the paper a familiar story: "It was supposed to be a powder fight, but people started showing up with eggs and rice and bananas and shaving cream. It was supposed to be something minor." The ten students were charged with criminal mischief and disorderly conduct. more ›