Ladies: you can all do better than Charlie Sheen. And yet here we are, New Yorker (albeit, very recent New Yorker) Michelle Martin has asked Sheen if she can accompany the fallen actor, as his goddess, to his Comedy Central Roast on September 19th (which not so coincidentally will air a half hour after Ashton Kutcher makes his debut on Two and a Half Men). Read the exchange below:
New Yorker Applies To Be One Of Charlie Sheen's Goddesses
Wanna See Mayor Bloomberg Get Mocked By Reporters? Then Head To The Inner Circle Show!
Do you remember when Rudy Giuliani dressed in drag and sang, "Happy Birthday, Mr. President?" Did you know that Mayor Bloomberg wore a headband and legwarmers and danced with crustaceans—and even fist pumped with Snooki and the Situation? It's all been for the Inner Circle Show, where the city's political reporters roast mayors and raise money for charities. This year's show, Meet the Focker-Uppers, is this Saturday night and songs are definitely referencing Bloomberg's recent greatest hits, like the blizzageddon with "There's No Business Like Snow Business" and his Irish-are-inebriated remark in "When Irish Guys Are Drinking." We hope they bring up bike lanes and magnets...and Bloomberg may doing a little Spider-Man: How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying Turn Off the Dark for his act.
Comedian Greg Giraldo, 44, Died After Overdose
Comedian Greg Giraldo, one of the regular Comedy Central celebrity roasters and judge of Last Comic Standing, has died today at the age of 44. Giraldo had been hospitalized in New Brunswick, NJ after he accidentally overdosed on prescription pills last weekend. His overdose came hours after he performed at a rally to mark National Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Month.
Video of the Day: Obama and McCain Crack Wise at Alfred E. Smith Dinner
18 days until the election and one day after their final debate, Barack Obama and John McCain traded zingers at the 63rd Annual Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner, held at The Waldorf-Astoria last night. (The Daily News says the event raised $2.5 million, which goes toward underprivileged children.)

