A Connecticut sailor's body was found on a shoreline in his home state, after his boat turned up at a Riverhead, Long Island dock with "sails unfurled, booms secured, and marine radio on," according to the Post. Frank Closter, 65, was "an avid boater" according to a friend, and his cause of death was unknown. The water where his body was found had a relatively frigid temperature of 60 degrees, and Closter was not wearing a life vest. more ›

Rescuers responding to a 911 call Sunday night from Long Island shut-in David Schock, 57, were forced to cut a hole in the wall of his mobile home to remove him. Andrew Donnelly at the local fire department tells Newsday, "He definitely wasn't coming out through the door." Because Schock weighs over 600 pounds, at least 10 firefighters—wearing plastic suits because there was fecal matter in the house—were needed to hoist him onto a custom-built wooden backboard and slide him through the hole. A neighbor says Schock got around his mobile home on a wooden box affixed with wheels, adding that "he did everything on his computer but he couldn't move." It apparently took him two days to reach his phone on Sunday evening to call for help after falling. A sad story, but it still doesn't top the woman who got stuck to the toilet seat after two years on the throne. more ›