Despite a court-ordered 2010 report that showed that there was "actionable balance sheet manipulation" at Lehman Brothers, the emails to prove that company brass knew about it, and a Lehman employee who was willing to help expose wrongdoing at the company, the SEC will do nothing. Bloomberg News obtained a memo prepared by SEC investigators that states that the agency likely will not recommend any enforcement action against the firm or its executives. Screw up a food festival in Brooklyn, and you'll taste justice in 48 hours. Help cause the implosion of the global economy? Nothing to see here, folks! more ›

Superfly is offering Extra Mooga customers a 100% refund, including those $17.71 handling fees. "We promised you a terrific Extra Mooga experience this past weekend and we didn’t deliver," the organizers write on their website. "We’re very sorry if we disappointed you." Roughly 4,000 people paid for the Extra Mooga experience over the weekend, so at $267.21 per ticket, they'll be paying over $1 million in refunds. No word on whether Superfly will pump the stomachs of David Chang, Aziz Ansari, James Murphy, and Ruth Reichl, and let us all watch. more ›

The top 1% of New York City's earners made more than a third of the city's income in 2009, according to a report by the Comptroller's office obtained by the Times. That's double what members of the 1% take in nationally. Shockingly, the city that supports a market for million-dollar parking spaces and run by a billionaire may be squeezing out the middle class. more ›

A hallmark of every over-hyped summer festival is a strictly enforced caste system that distills American class and privilege down to a laminated badge or a special colored wristband. This weekend's Great Googa Mooga was no different, and those who paid $249.50 (plus a service charge of $17.71) to be vaulted into the "Extra Mooga" VIP section were promised shelter from the flip-flopped barbarians and enough sustenance to keep cackling at them long into the evening. So was it worth it? more ›

This fall, be the envy of those losers on 11th Avenue and own your very own parking space on 66 East 11th Street for $1 million dollars. "It's for someone who wants complete privacy," a vice chairman for the realty company tells the Post. Because the key to privacy is living in the most publicized, ostentatious parking space in New York City. more ›

Jamie Dimon is really sorry that his bank invested too heavily in Italian leather laptop tote bags, and though he's said as much many times since the world learned that JP Morgan lost $2 billion, he'll likely have to bust out his gilded apology-kneepads at the bank's annual shareholders meeting today in Tampa. The Times reports that despite the official line that the chief investment office alone got out of hand in ramping up riskier, high-yield trades, former and current employees describe an "increased appetite" for those trades by the bank's "upper echelons." Presumably the paper is referring to the top-secret memo from Dimon to his deputies entitled, "Braaaaiinnnss." more ›

There's no shortage of intelligent explanations of just exactly what went wrong at JP Morgan, but our favorite is the Times' quasi-flow chart that breaks it down for people who haven't done any math whatsoever since 2004. Who knew losing $2 billion could look so easy! more ›

At a breakfast to honor the Eagle Academy for Young Men this morning at Yankees Stadium, Mayor Bloomberg joked that he was feeling slightly inadequate because "hero rock star" mayor of Newark Cory Booker was in attendance. The Daily News has the setup and the punchline: "He runs into burning houses... He's making all the other mayors look bad. And he's much taller. But I'm richer, Cory." Ha, ha get it? You don't get $30 million helicopters by doing something so vulgar as heroically saving lives. more ›

Remember when besuited money-Gollum and CEO of Lehman Brothers Dick Fuld denied knowing that his bank was headed for a ditch in 2008? Well, internal emails and documents released by the law firm who performed the "post-mortem" on Lehman reveal that the bank's executives were repeatedly warned about the risks the company was taken, and willfully ignored them. more ›

Despite a rough economy, Manhattan rents continue to climb and are higher now than they were in 2007. A president for an appraisal firm notes that the high prices arise from "a tight credit market that forces people to stay in the rental market and limits new construction." So we looked to the New York Times to bring us tales of "woe," of Manhattanites moving into cubby holes off the Bowery or back into their parents' Brownstones in Brooklyn. Instead, we get a couple who responds to the economic "squeeze" by buying a $1 million place in DUMBO and a group of dudes who decided to pay $1,700 more in rent, cause they wanted to. We've said it before: you're not rich enough to read this newspaper. more ›

A prime selection of Huguette Clark's baubles hit the auction block last night at Christie's, exceeding expectations on almost every lot. The reclusive copper heiress who died last May at age 104 had not worn—or even laid eyes upon—the jewels in over 70 years. They've been stored in a bank vault since the 1940s. Much to the delight of auctioneer Rahul Kadakia, those with a little extra pocket money snapped up seventeen dazzling items at prices well over initial estimates for a total sale of $21 million. more ›

Thanks to cribbing their views on women's rights from Mad Men and seeming hopelessly out of touch with the country's growing sense of economic inequality (see: car elevators), the Republican party's presumptive nominee is trailing President Obama in the polls, 48% to 43%. Somewhere buried under the Zimmerman / Santorum news cycle, President Obama was in Florida today to push for the Buffett Rule, requiring those who make more than $2 million annually to pay a minimum of 30% tax rate. But Ham Rove's American Crossroads PAC has a plan: make Obama and Buffett pay more in voluntary taxes. more ›

George W. Bush hasn't just been scooping poop since he left office—the man has devised an economic policy that will save the country. And it's not just more tax cuts either, it's—wait, no, no it's more tax cuts. Bush took this refreshing new message to the New York Historical Society today for a conference entitled "Tax Policies for 4% Growth." more ›

You might have caught Morley Safer on Sunday grumbling about "the Russians" who come into the world's biggest art fair to buy everything up. Safer may be a philistine who looks like Huckleberry Hound, but he was right: Russians can't cram their fortunes into the United States fast enough, particularly when it comes to paying record prices for New York real estate. The billionaire fertilizer tycoon who paid the highest-ever for an apartment for his 22-year-old daughter ($88 million) has spent $188 million on property in the U.S. alone. Why shovel this money into America? Because they don't want to end up writing sweet op/eds for the New York Times from a Russian penal colony. more ›

Mitt Romney's wife Ann called into a radio station today before Wisconsin's Tuesday primary to assuage doubts that her husband is in fact, the Least Interesting Man in the World. When asked if she wanted to beat back against the perception that he is "stiff," Romney laughed and replied, "Well, you know, I guess we better unzip him and let the real Mitt Romney out because he is not!” Yeah, all you have to do is open Mitt's lumbar chamber, run the command unzip.exe on the file humorsmile.zip and step back and watch him go! more ›

The top 1% of earners in the United States—those who make at least $352K annually—earned 93% of the additional income created in 2010. While those folks saw an 11% increase in pay that year, the bottom 99% added just $80 to their annual income, which is barely enough for four liters of rye whiskey and a box of tissues. more ›

Not satisfied with the $150 paid to him by the New York Times for his scathing editorial/resignation letter, former Goldman Sachs employee Greg Smith is reportedly shopping a memoir to "prominent" publishing houses in New York. According to the Times' sources, Smith pitched his book "as a coming-of-age story, the tale of someone who came into the business with good intentions and sky-high ideals that were ultimately pierced by Goldman’s obsessive focus on making money." We're looking forward to the accompanying children's book, "Go The F*ck To The Trading Floor & Make Us Some F*cking Money." more ›

Decades ago the Andrew Freedman Home in the Bronx had a singular purpose: to keep wealthy people in the standard of living that they were used to in case they ever went broke. But now, rich people are all too big to fail so the giant mansion fell into disrepair. The Jewish Daily Forward documents the property's transformation into a community center and temporary art gallery. See if you can spot any of the ghosts of the "Cultured Poor" lurking in the decrepit hallways (hint: they wear monocles). more ›

Speaking to FOX News yesterday, Mitt Romney's wife Ann was describing how living with multiple sclerosis has changed her outlook on life. At this point, the Romneys' job is to NOT point out their obscene wealth, no matter what the context. But Ann Romney seemingly couldn't resist. "And—and, so, you know, we can be poor in spirit and I don't—I don’t look—I don't even consider myself wealthy, which is an interesting thing. It can be here today and gone tomorrow." Except for your tax-exempt retirement funds worth tens of millions of dollars. Those are designed to be around for awhile. more ›

A 44-year-old mother of four who allegedly made millions running a high-end brothel out of an Upper East Side apartment has been arrested and indicted. DNAinfo reports that Anna Gristina, who is a British National and owns property in Canada, was arrested in the middle of a meeting with a Morgan Stanley banker after a five-year investigation, because the public corruption unit believed she was a flight risk. Gristina allegedly bragged during the Eliot Spitzer investigation that she had sources in law enforcement who would alert her and protect her from government scrutiny. more ›

Sycophants are one of the many perks of being insanely wealthy, so it's nice to read a Times piece about a few gajillionaires who leave their asskissers at the gym door. John Sitaras runs the no-nonsense Sitaras Fitness on East 58th Street, and his clients include the former chairman of the Fed, Paul Volcker, the former head of GE Jack Welch, and billionaire George Soros, along with a slew of other people who you'd normally think only get exercise from having money fights. more ›

Proving what we already knew about those Standard Oil-emulating, stripper tears-drinking, tax-dodging, climate science-denying bastards, a study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences suggests that rich people are more likely to lie, cheat, and break the law without compunction, for their personal gain. The study's abstract notes "that upper-class individuals’ unethical tendencies are accounted for, in part, by their more favorable attitudes toward greed." more ›

A version of the "Buffett Rule" was introduced today by Senate Democrats after a call by President Obama for the super-rich to start paying their fair share in the State of the Union Address last week. Senator Sheldon Whitehouse, a Democrat from Rhode Island, formally introduced what he's calling the "Paying a Fair Share Act of 2012." Under the law, millionaires would pay a minimum 30 percent effective tax rate, or more than double what millionaire Mitt Romney has been paying. According to the Congressional Research Center, approximately 94,500 taxpayers, a quarter of all U.S. millionaires, pay a lower tax rate than the vast majority of middle-income taxpayers. While potential revenue has yet to be formally calculated, Whitehouse estimates that the law could generate $40-50 billion annually. more ›

A letter to the editor in this morning's Wall Street Journal has a breathtakingly straightforward lede: "Do you consult your dentist about your heart condition?" "Surely, not!" their readers likely chortled, spilling civet coffee all over their sprite-skin slacks. Yet that is precisely what the WSJ did four days ago when it published the hilariously titled op/ed "No Need To Panic About Global Warming" that was signed by people who have never studied global warming. more ›

New parents Beyoncé and Jay-Z haven't yet showed off their daughter, Blue Ivy, to the public (friends say she's "so beautiful"), but they have announced her godparents. Or rather, a source has done it for them. And it's a real "Aha Moment!" more ›

Because a guy named "Brad" is in the office today, the country has been graced with Mitt Romney's tax returns. They show that in 2010 the candidate earned $21.7 million, and paid $3 million in federal taxes, for an effective tax rate of 13.9%. Romney also gave $2.98 million to charity, $1.5 million of which went to the Mormon Church. Reuters also reports that Romney closed down accounts in Switzerland and the Caymans that year "after an investment advisor decided it could be politically embarrassing to Romney." more ›

This is some real Antiques Roadshow stuff here. The NY Times reports that a needlework sampler crafted by a New Jersey schoolgirl named Mary Antrim in 1807 has sold at auction for $1.07 million dollars. The piece sold at Sotheby's in New York on Sunday, and features a farm scene on linen... it was estimated to go for a mere $120,000. So why did it go for so much more than that? more ›

As any Blue Ivy will tell you, the growing gap between the rich and poor is increasingly seen in the swanky wings of the city's hospitals. At Mount Sinai, if a patient staying in one of the $1,600-night suites wants something other than Jello or creamed corn, the staff obliges. "If they have a craving for lobster tails and we don't have them on the menu, we'll go out and get them," the hospital's hospitality manager tells the Times. At the "Greenberg 14 South" wing of NewYork-Presbyterian, patients paying $2,400 a night have butlers. No word on whether the suppositories are made with gold leaf. more ›

Though it's no secret that Mitt Romney's income is made up of residual Bain investments taxed at the low rate of 15%, the candidate admitted it this morning at a campaign stop in Florence, South Carolina. “It’s probably closer to the 15 percent rate than anything,” Romney said. According to the Times, he also loses his speaking fees in the cushions of his couch. “And then I get speaker’s fees from time to time, but not very much.” Yeah, what's $374,327, or nearly 14 times the per capita income of Americans? more ›