Okay Mitt, you're even in the polls, all you have to do is just sit tight and let those mean people make fun of your religion and let the economy do the rest. You know the drill old sport, don't rock the boat and—LOOK OUT! TRUMP! “I never really changed—nothing’s changed my mind,” Trump told CNBC this morning in reference to his skepticism of the legitimacy of President Obama's birth certificate. “I’ve been known as being a very smart guy for a long time,” Trump said, presumably as he exhaled a cloud of smoke that originated from a broken lightblub fashioned into a pipe. “I don’t consider myself birther or not birther, but there are some major questions here that the press doesn’t want to cover." more ›

We hate to say that we called it last August, but it appears that Ron Paul has finally seen the light. In an email to his supporters, Paul says that he can no longer campaign in the states that have yet to hold Republican primaries, because it would "take many tens of millions of dollars we simply do not have." Why doesn't he just take Romney's advice and borrow some cash from his parents? more ›

With the Democratic candidates for mayor pretty well locked up, much has been made about who will run on the other side. There have been lots of rich people pushing for Police Commissioner Ray Kelly to make a go for it, and billionaire John Catsimatidis has expressed interest if Kelly declines, but there are others! What would you think our current Mayor's girlfriend Diana Taylor made a go for Gracie Mansion? She's has been wanting to spend a night there and previously mulled a Senate run—and it appears that GOPers have noticed. more ›

In 2008, Candidate Barack Obama criticized Hillary Clinton's campaign for creating an ad that invoked Osama Bin Laden and implicitly questioned his readiness for the position. "We already have a President who plays the politics of fear, and we don't need another," his spokesman said at the time. Well, in 2012 the polls are a little tighter than Obama would like them to be, so Fear is again our friend (did you know that he killed Osama bin Laden with his bare hands?) But Republicans are SHOCKED that other politicians might try to scare up votes. more ›

It's no secret that Mike Lupica has scrawled his name and Ray Kelly's into a heart onto the ole' sycamore on the Daily News' playground, and today the columnist tells us all why Kelly would make such a fantastic mayor of New York City. "Some of the people polled say Kelly doesn’t know enough about issues beyond crime or terrorism," Lupica writes, "But there happens to be a good reason for that: Kelly has spent the last decade fighting crime and terrorism in his current job." So, that means we should give him a pass on the whole, "no other experience other than fighting crime or terrorism" thing? more ›

Rudolph Giuliani has become the latest Republican to pretend to enjoy the thought of Mitt Romney being elected president. “When I look at where we are as a nation and the challenges we face, I am convinced that Mitt Romney will provide a clear contrast to President Obama,” Giuliani said in a statement earlier today. Woah, a "clear contrast?" Get a room, you two! But as Capital New York reminds us, things weren't always so peachy. Just four months ago Giuliani said of Romney, “I ran against him in ‘07 and ‘08, I’ve never seen a guy change his position so many times, so fast, on a dime." Isn't it amazing what a miserable field of candidates can do to one's viewpoint? more ›

In his column yesterday, The New York Times' public editor Arthur Brisbane cites a study published in February that shows the paper was significantly kinder to President Obama in his first year in office than presidents Reagan, Clinton, and George W. Bush. "Readers deserve to know: Who is the real Barack Obama?" Brisbane writes. "And The Times needs to show that it can address the question in a hard-nosed, unbiased way." Somehow we suspect that a collectible Mitt Romney Presidential Saltine Canister won't pay the bills, but maybe some more coverage of Obama's dog-eating youth in Indonesia and more Solyndra will. more ›

[UPDATE BELOW] Mitt Romney may have strapped his Irish setter Seamus to the roof of his car during a family vacation, but at least he never ate dog like Barack Hussein Obama did…when he was six…in Indonesia. Important D.C. publication The Daily Caller brings up a passage of Obama's book, Dreams from My Father, in which the future president describes being fed dog meat, snake meat, and grasshopper, by his stepfather in Indonesia. "Say what you want about Romney," hilarious web pundit Jim Treacher writes, "But at least he only put a dog on the roof of his car, not the roof of his mouth." Ha ha stop, stop, your DOGGONE jokes are killing us. Stop. more ›

The Obama campaign likes to tout that much of their war chest comes from small donors, people who give less than $250. But $250 only wins you the chance to win an awkward dinner with the president, and the joy of cleaning out your inbox every few hours. Want a roughly 75% of meeting the man in the White House? That'll be $100,000. No word on how much it'd cost to share a cigarette with the president. more ›

With his new heart pumping something akin to blood through his veins, former Vice President spoke for over an hour and fifteen minutes at an appearance in Cheyenne, Wyoming yesterday. "I was amazed he was able to say so much over the whole course of an hour," audience member Helen Bishop said. Indeed, most surprising is that there is no mention in the AP report of Cheney noisily devouring baby geese or strangling a stagehand with his mind. more ›

Amid all of the fresh ideas about giving more money to people who already have a lot of money—and after some sweet shuteye—New Jersey governor Chris Christie had a somber message for the crowd at yesterday's "Tax Policies for 4% Growth" conference. According to Christie, the Gub'ment is telling us to "stop dreaming, stop striving, we'll take care of you. We're turning into a paternalistic entitlement society." Christie's right: if you want a tunnel between Manhattan and New Jersey, grab a shovel. more ›

Thanks to cribbing their views on women's rights from Mad Men and seeming hopelessly out of touch with the country's growing sense of economic inequality (see: car elevators), the Republican party's presumptive nominee is trailing President Obama in the polls, 48% to 43%. Somewhere buried under the Zimmerman / Santorum news cycle, President Obama was in Florida today to push for the Buffett Rule, requiring those who make more than $2 million annually to pay a minimum of 30% tax rate. But Ham Rove's American Crossroads PAC has a plan: make Obama and Buffett pay more in voluntary taxes. more ›

George W. Bush hasn't just been scooping poop since he left office—the man has devised an economic policy that will save the country. And it's not just more tax cuts either, it's—wait, no, no it's more tax cuts. Bush took this refreshing new message to the New York Historical Society today for a conference entitled "Tax Policies for 4% Growth." more ›

Mitt Romney's wife Ann called into a radio station today before Wisconsin's Tuesday primary to assuage doubts that her husband is in fact, the Least Interesting Man in the World. When asked if she wanted to beat back against the perception that he is "stiff," Romney laughed and replied, "Well, you know, I guess we better unzip him and let the real Mitt Romney out because he is not!” Yeah, all you have to do is open Mitt's lumbar chamber, run the command unzip.exe on the file humorsmile.zip and step back and watch him go! more ›

Sheesh can the Leader of the Free World and the Handmaiden to Vlad the Shirtless ever have a private conversation? In his visit to South Korea for an international summit, President Obama spoke to Russian President Dimitri Medvedev when he believed the microphones were off about the testy issue of a missile defense system the U.S. is planning on building in Europe. “On all these issues, but particularly missile defense, this can be solved, but it’s important for him to give me space,” Obama says, referring to President-elect Putin. “This is my last election. After my election, I have more flexibility.” You hear that? If Barry's reelected he's gonna institute MANDATORY YOGA. more ›

The top 1% of earners in the United States—those who make at least $352K annually—earned 93% of the additional income created in 2010. While those folks saw an 11% increase in pay that year, the bottom 99% added just $80 to their annual income, which is barely enough for four liters of rye whiskey and a box of tissues. more ›

The candidate who has vowed to stop the spread of obscene pornography hurled an obscenity yesterday at a New York Times reporter after a campaign speech in Wisconsin. When Jeff Zeleny asked Rick Santorum about calling Mitt Romney "the worst Republican in the country," the candidate snapped, "Stop lying…quit distorting my words…if I see it, it's bullshit." Somewhere, a strategist is on his sixth Diet Dr. Pepper, furiously coaching Mitt Romney through the word "C-R-A-P." more ›

Remember The Komen! A recent CBS/New York Times poll [pdf] shows that 51% of voters support letting any employer "opt out" of covering the cost of birth control for religious or moral objections, with 40% saying that employers should pick up the tab. Will President Johnson Campaign Obama tack to the right, or will people realize that family planning is one of the top ten public health achievements of the last century? more ›

Chris Christie isn't sorry that he called a Rutgers law student and veteran Navy SEAL an "idiot" during a town hall meeting last week. “Just because he was a Navy SEAL doesn’t give him the right to be a jerk,” Christie told reporters. “This was a guy with a political agenda who came in and wanted to try and make me look bad and not let me answer the question. He can cry his crocodile tears all he wants." Yes, because the only person who is allowed to have a political agenda is the Governor of New Jersey. more ›

Speaking to FOX News yesterday, Mitt Romney's wife Ann was describing how living with multiple sclerosis has changed her outlook on life. At this point, the Romneys' job is to NOT point out their obscene wealth, no matter what the context. But Ann Romney seemingly couldn't resist. "And—and, so, you know, we can be poor in spirit and I don't—I don’t look—I don't even consider myself wealthy, which is an interesting thing. It can be here today and gone tomorrow." Except for your tax-exempt retirement funds worth tens of millions of dollars. Those are designed to be around for awhile. more ›

The Federal Bureau of Investigation may investigate claims that Republican Congressman from Staten Island Michael Grimm received illegal cash donations from the followers of Rabbi Yoshiyahu Tosef Pinto. An FBI official told the Wall Street Journal that the bureau is "gathering information" on the allegations, first reported in the New York Times but apparently noted by former Congressman Anthony Weiner, who said he informed the FBI of possible illegal activity in 2010. more ›

The Senate voted today to shoot down a GOP effort to let employers and health insurance companies deny coverage for contraceptives if they have religious or moral objections. After four days of hearings and speeches, the vote went 51-48 in favor of President Obama's current birth control policy. But just because that debate is over for now doesn't mean that Rush Limbaugh didn't do his darndest to turn all the negative attention toward himself before the vote—yesterday, Limbaugh called Georgetown Law School student and activist Sandra Fluke "a slut" for arguing that contraception should be covered by health insurance. Listen to him bloviate below! more ›

At a rally in Michigan earlier today, GOP presidential frontrunner Rick Santorum told the crowd the real reason the economy tanked four years ago: "We went into a recession in 2008 because of gasoline prices." According to BuzzFeed, Santorum added, "The bubble burst in housing because people couldn’t pay their mortgages because of $4 a gallon gasoline." In related news, the Iraq War was caused by Social Security, the obesity epidemic is due to Solyndra, and the current unemployment rate? That's Mrs. Santorum's fault. more ›

Last night, Americans were treated to yet another Republican primary debate—and besides the usual blather there were some highlights, including Rep. Ron Paul calling Rick Santorum "a fake," and Santorum claiming Mitt Romney had adopted Occupy Wall Street rhetoric. But the highlight of the night for us was during Romney's opening remarks, when he misquoted our favorite curmudgeonly New Yorker, George Costanza: "What's the George Costanza line? When they're applauding, you sit down..." more ›

It's pretty tough to sound dumber than Rick Santorum, who's been on a tear recently by comparing Barack Obama to Hitler, calling public schools "factories," and accusing the president of practicing "phony theology." But Santorum aide Alice Stewart one-upped her boss on MSNBC today noting that Santorum wasn't actually making some crypto-racist comment about Barry's religion, "He was referring to the radical Islamic policies the president has." more ›