Mitt Romney's wife Ann called into a radio station today before Wisconsin's Tuesday primary to assuage doubts that her husband is in fact, the Least Interesting Man in the World. When asked if she wanted to beat back against the perception that he is "stiff," Romney laughed and replied, "Well, you know, I guess we better unzip him and let the real Mitt Romney out because he is not!” Yeah, all you have to do is open Mitt's lumbar chamber, run the command unzip.exe on the file humorsmile.zip and step back and watch him go! more ›

Rick Santorum has gone and whipped up another frothy controversy. While campaigning in Puerto Rico ahead of the territory's Sunday primary, the Presidential hopeful showed willful misunderstanding of how this country works when he told a local paper that if Puerto Rico wants to be a U.S. state it is going to have to make English its official language first. more ›

Like a certain prurient Congressman, drunk on power and thirsty for alternatives, the South Carolina electorate has spurned their betrothed for the powdery jowls of another. Newt Gingrich is currently leading Mitt Romney ahead of today's GOP primary, 37% to 28% according to the PPP. In related news, we're taking the rest of the day off to close the deal on some Moon Condos. more ›

It seems Donald Trump found the excuse he was looking for: after over a week of shaming and name-calling, Trump announced today that he would bow out as moderator of Donald Trump's Very Classy GOP Presidential Primary Debate. "So that there is no conflict of interest within the Republican Party, I have decided not to be the moderator of the Newsmax debate...I believe this would not only have been the most watched debate, but also the most substantive and interesting debate," Trump hilariously wrote in a statement. At least he was able to get a plug in for The Apprentice! more ›

So much for the shaming tactic: Ron Paul, Jon Huntsman, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann have now ALL dropped out of Donald Trump's Very Classy GOP Presidential Primary Debate. Facing the prospect of a mano-a-mano slugfest between Newt "Tiffany Historian" Gingrich and Rick "Please Don't Google My Name" Santorum, even Donald Trump himself is now looking for ways to get out of this debate! more ›

In the wake of several allegations of sexual harassment, as well as a long-term affair, subliminal smoking advocate Herman Cain has been facing rumors that he will drop out of the presidential race soon. Yesterday, Cain shot back at critics that he had to discuss the matter with his wife Gloria, who he hasn't seen in person since before his alleged 13-year-affair with Ginger White came out. But today, the Cains showed solidarity by launching a new section of his campaign website run by Gloria: "Women For Herman Cain." more ›

Since state lawmakers have been dragging their feet, the Justice Department is asking a federal judge to make New York State move up its primary schedule. more ›

After less than three months on the job and a primary election that Mayor Bloomberg deemed a "royal screwup," the head of the Board of Elections was dismissed today by the Board's commissioners. George Gonzalez, who started at the $172,753 job in mid-August, is described as a "product of the Bronx Democratic party" by the Daily News. Some of the party leaders in the Bronx were reportedly pushing hard to keep him in the position, but Board President Julie Dent tells the Daily Politics, "The board has voted to terminate our executive director, George Gonzalez... He's been with the board for 22 years, and again, we appreciate it." more ›

Though they're still trying to convince voters that the primary elections weren't as bad as everyone thought, the Board of Elections may have landed themselves in some more hot water. Because apparently they don't care about the troops! The New York City and Westchester, Putnam, Erie and Niagara Boards of Elections all missed an October 1st deadline to send absentee ballots to the troops and residents overseas, which jeopardizes their ability to vote in the November 2nd elections on time. more ›

After spending $90,000 on a survey about the infamous primary election snafus, the Board of Elections says that most voters walked away with a favorable view of the new voting process, which featured the debut of the electronic optical scan voting machines. Despite widespread reports of disorganized polling sites opening late and missing machines, only 6% of those surveyed reported having "major issues." Of course, as the Daily News notes, that adds up to about 20,700 of the 345,000 voters that day. And the survey only included people who actually were able to vote, not the untold number who were turned away because, for example, workers closed the polling site while waiting for new machines to arrive. more ›

After Monday's public hearing about the Primary Day voting shitshow, we interviewed an election coordinator from Hell's Kitchen who's worked elections for the past three years. (The election coordinator is responsible for managing the polling place and poll workers.) He agreed to speak with us on condition of anonymity because, as he tells us, he hasn't gotten paid yet. By the way, did you know poll workers make some pretty sweet coin? $225 a day! Sure, they have to show up at the crack of dawn, but as our source tells us, the lucky ones spend hours lounging around the equivalent of a DOE rubber room. more ›

Politicians slammed The Board of Elections yesterday for the confusion, malfunctions and disorder that defined the debut of the city's new optical scanning voting machines on Primary Day. And along with the public shaming of board director George Gonzalez, new revelations came to light about why so much went sideways that day. Take this, for instance: about 80 polling places at public schools opened late after long delays. Why? Well, for starters, Gonzalez didn't e-mail school administrators to request that custodians come in early to open the schools until 5:36 p.m. the night before the frickin' election! more ›

Optical scanning machines don't ruin elections, people ruin elections. Election watchdogs tell WNYC that the new voting machines aren't to blame all the problems at polling sites Tuesday, it was mostly due to good old-fashioned human error. Some of the machines did malfunction, but it seems that most of the delays were caused by a galling lack of preparation. The Times reports that six days before the primary, state election officials agreed to let the city’s Board of Elections cut short tests on some of its voting machines because time was running out. more ›

Carl Paladino pulled off an upset victory over Rick Lazio in the GOP gubernatorial primary yesterday, and he's wasting no time moving forward with his campaign against his main opponent, current Attorney General Andrew Cuomo. "Carl's whole life is an open book to the people of New York, and Cuomo is clearly frightened of his own life and failed career being under the spotlight with us. We have a message for Andrew Cuomo: You can run but you can't hide. Prepare for a full and complete vetting. Your time has come," said his campaign manager, Michael Caputo. more ›

The big debut of the new optical scanning voting machines, which cost the city over $70 million dollars, was a flop of Waterworldian proportions. Because of problems with the machines, many voters were turned away in the morning, and others who did vote wondered whether the scanners really registered their votes at all. Below, the top ten reported SNAFUs from yesterday's FUBAR primary, PLUS a funny bonus video about workers at one polling site trying to find their AWOL machines. more ›

Last night, embattled longtime House member Rep. Charles Rangel won the Democratic primary for the 15th Congressional seat in Harlem. He had 50% of the vote; the next closest challenger was Adam Clayton Powell IV, who had about 24%. The 80-year-old told his supporters, "I don’t know how this will be misconstrued by the press. But no matter what they say, I go back to Washington a stronger man than I have ever been." more ›

Gustavo Rivera may have trounced soon-to-be FORMER State Senate Majority Leader Pedro Espada, Jr. by a margin of 62%-32%, but don't think for a second this resounding loss means the end of the Espada dynasty. Like his fellow coup-mate Hiram Monserrate, Espada is vowing to come back with a vengeance. But unlike Monserrate, whose comeback attempt ended last night with another humiliating loss, Espada has the power of LOVE on his side more ›

Last night, Carl Paladino trounced Rick Lazio to win the Republican gubernatorial primary in a big upset. State Senator Eric Schneiderman won the Democratic Attorney General primary. Rep. Charles Rangel and Rep. Carolyn Maloney both fought off challengers and won their Democratic House primaries. And, in another (happy) surprise, State Senate Majority Leader Pedro Espada Jr. conceded to Gustavo Rivera. more ›

Today's primary vote with the new scanner-style voting machines has gotten off on a very bad start. While some voters had no problems at all (thanks to poll workers who were present and/or knowledgeable about the new system), some other voters had terrible experiences—like machines not even set up or the polling places not opening on time. In fact, Senator Chuck Schumer apparently had a meltdown at his Park Slope polling place and Mayor Bloomberg called it a "royal screw-up." more ›

At a press conference this afternoon, Mayor Bloomberg says he's received "disturbing" reports about polling places opening two to four hours late this morning, leaving many voters unable to participate in our glorious new experiment with participatory democracy through technology. Calling the situation a "royal screw-up," the mayor said: more ›

A source tells the Daily News that Senator Chuck Schumer, a Park Slope resident, had considerable difficulty voting this morning. Polling places are required to open at 6 a.m. in New York, but the source says, "They don't open the polling place until 6:10... They can't figure out how to open the machine and he is, like, screaming at the staff that he wants to vote." Another source says, "First, the site opened late. Second, the room was in a different location. Third, there were only 2 machines, and workers told him there were supposed to be 8. And 4th, the machines did not boot-up on time." Straphangers Campaign advocate Gene Russianoff also had big problems in Park Slope. more ›

Odds are you're not bothering to vote in today's primary, so here's a taste of what awaits next time you decide to give a shit about representative democracy. Gone are the big old clunky lever machines, which always gave us the satisfying sensation of beheading our most loathed politicians. Now all voters in New York State are using paper ballots, which are then optically scanned into machines operated by Election Systems and Software [ES&S] of Omaha, Nebraska. That company's had some problems, like allocating votes cast in one race to an entirely different race that wasn’t even on the electronic ballot. more ›

Republican gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino is a true wild card; he's filthy rich, and one never knows what antic he'll pull next. Forwarding bestiality videos, calling Gov. Paterson a "drug addict," sending a duck to stalk Attorney General Andrew Cuomo, it's all just Carl being Carl. For his latest antic, Paladino is mailing out campaign brochures highlighting the corruption in Albany...all in vivid Smell-O-Vision. more ›

The main challenger to scandal-tarred Bronxchester Senator Pedro Espada Jr. has gotten a big boost. Gustavo Rivera's campaign to unseat Espada has been threatened by another challenger, Daniel Padernacht, a lawyer and member of a Bronx community board who had previously refused calls for him to drop out of the race. On Sunday, Padernacht dropped out, conceding that a three-way race would split the anti-Espada vote in next week's primary. more ›

The primary is just over a week away and one of the heated battles in for the 14th District, which overs much of Manhattan's East Side as well as Roosevelt Island and Queens' Astoria, Long Island City and Sunnyside neighborhoods. Rep. Carolyn Maloney has been in office since 1993, but Reshma Saujani, an attorney (she recently worked as general counsel for a hedge fund), has been mounting a challenge. Yesterday, the NY Times endorsed Maloney while the Daily News announced its backing of Saujani today. more ›

This should be fun: Republican gubernatorial nominee Rick Lazio is not contesting millionaire developer Carl Paladino's petition to be in the fall GOP primary. According to the AP, "The deadline to contest thousands of signatures on Paladino's petition to get on the Sept. 14 ballot expired at midnight Monday. State Board of Elections spokesman John Conklin said Tuesday that no objection to the petition has been filed." more ›

A year after switching from the Republican party to the Democratic party, Senator Arlen Specter (Pennsylvania) was defeated in yesterday's primary. "Upstart" Rep. Joe Sestak won, and with Rand Paul (R) winning a Senate primary in Kentucky, the Washington Post says, "Tuesday's results were the most powerful indicator to date of the voter anger and dissatisfaction that has shaped the political climate all year." A Democratic strategist admitted to the Daily News, "If the election were held today we'd lose both [the House and the Senate]. Thank goodness it's not being held today - but we still might lose the House." But Politico points out that Republicans "failed spectacularly" in trying to get late Rep. John Murtha's Pennsylvania seat (Democrat Mark Critz won). more ›