In January, Pope Benedict XVI used his annual address to the diplomatic corps as a platform to denounce gay marriage, calling it one of the major threats that could undermine "the future of humanity itself." With Maryland becoming the eighth state to legalize same-sex marriage last week, the Pope once again condemned gay nuptials, and came across sounding quite scared of "the powerful political and cultural currents seeking to alter the legal definition of marriage."
In Case You Were Wondering: Pope Is Terrified Of Gay Marriage
End Of Days: The Pope Is Tweeting Now @Pope2YouVatican
Not only does the Pope have an iPad, but for Lent this year he's also got a Twitter account! Sadly though, he appears to be using Twitter for Mac and not PopeDeck when he—or much more likely some underling—tweets from @Pope2YouVatican. Yes, that is really his handle—@Pope2You was already taken. But now, you can get one step closer to God, in 140 characters or less.
"Tired," "Weary" Pope Benedict Leads Mass With 22 New Cardinals, Including Dolan
A day after elevating 22 archbishops to cardinal—including the New York Archdiocese's Timothy Dolan—Pope Benedict led mass at St. Peter's Basilica today. And, at least according to the AP's report, the pontiff is looking and sounding rough: "Benedict, who turns 85 in April, read a long homily in a hoarse voice and looked tired on the third straight day of speeches, rituals and appearances for the new cardinals. Benedict told the new members of the College of Cardinals their main task is to 'bear witness to the joy of Christ's love.'"
Red Hat Time: Archbishop Dolan Elevated To Cardinal
Archbishop Timothy Dolan was officially named a cardinal by Pope Benedict today. According to the Daily News, "The city’s newly-elevated Catholic leader was smiling from cheek to cheek Saturday after receiving a gold ring and red silk biretta from the pontiff inside St. Peter’s Basilica in Vatican City." Dolan said, "This hat is really for New York. I want to put it on the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty and the Brooklyn Bridge." You get a red hat! And you get a red hat!
Did The Pope Perform An Exorcism?
A new book by the Catholic Church's self-proclaimed exorcism expert alleges that Pope Benedict XVI performed an exorcism on two possessed men in St. Peter's Square three years ago. The two men "banged their heads on the ground" waiting for Benedict to work his magic faith. "They were trembling, slobbering, working themselves into a frenzy," Father Gabriele Amorth writes. Hear that, Benedict? Boston needs you.
Pope Says Gay Nups Threaten "Humanity Itself" As NJ Vote Looms Again
Just as New Jersey is getting ready to put gay marriage back on the table an unsurprising voice of opposition has reared its head. Pope Benedict XVI in an annual address to the diplomatic corps yesterday said that married homosexuals were one of the major threats facing the family, threats that could undermine "the future of humanity itself." Because the Catholic Church has a perfect record there, right?
Vatican Elevates Archbishop Dolan To Cardinal
Archbishop Timothy Dolan was in a heavenly mood today after learning that Pope Benedict named him one of the Vatican's newest cardinals. In a statement, he said, "I am honored, humbled and grateful ... but, let's be frank. This is not about Timothy Dolan. This is an honor from the Holy Father to the Archdiocese of New York and to all our cherished friends and neighbors who call this great community home. It's as if Pope Benedict is putting the red hat on top of the Empire State Building, or the Statue of Liberty, or on home plate at Yankee Stadium, or on the spires of St. Patrick's Cathedral."
The 84-Year-Old Pope Is Really Old, Tired, Slow
84-year-old Maybelline eyeshadow spokesperson and current head of the Catholic Church Pope Benedict XVI is closing in on his 85th birthday, and Pope-watchers say that he is growing increasingly frail and weak. He's reduced his schedule of public speeches, has stopped meeting visiting bishops individually, and has taken to using a moving platform to make the 100 meter journey to the altar in St. Peter's Cathedral.
Susan Sarandon Calls Pope A Nazi, Gets Grief
Damnit Janet! Susan Sarandon is getting some heat for referring to the current pope as a Nazi (and then repeating it) in an offhand remark while talking about her movie 1995 Dead Man Walking on Saturday in the Hamptons. Seems that back then Sarandon sent a copy of the book the movie was based on to the pope. "The last one," she clarified, "not this Nazi one we have now." When her interviewer, Bob Balaban, gently tut-tutted she didn't back down and just repeated the remark. And now of course the Catholic League is furious!
Pope Benedict Has An iPad: Can We Buy Indulgences In The App Store?
Do you want to see the infallible head of the world's largest Christian church and ex-Hitler Youth member use an iPad? Are you dying to know what the Pope is doing right this second? Good news! Pope Benedict XVI received an iPad to celebrate the 60th anniversary of his ordination, and he even Tweeted on the Vatican's news account! Watch the former Cardinal Ratzinger act like one of those confused-but-giddy adults in an Apple store below.
New Yorkers Celebrate, Protest John Paul's Beatification
St. Patrick's Cathedral was "standing-room-only" yesterday at a thanksgiving mass led by Cardinal Egan celebrating the beatification of Pope John Paul II, the Daily News reports. Several New Yorkers in attendance were quoted as saying that "he deserved to be a saint," and that "it's a very cool thing--he was a very spiritual man." We assume the Vatican's HR department would screen out all of those "non-spiritual" papal applications (notable exception: Pope Dwayne "Boogie" Williams, also known as "The Surfer Pope" of the 12th century).
Pope Benedict's Easter Message: Stop Fighting In Libya, Humanity Is From God
Today, Pope Benedict gave his Easter message to the Catholic masses from the Vatican, and urged that the fighting in Libya end, "In the current conflict in Libya, may diplomacy and dialogue replace arms, and may those who suffer as a result of the conflict be given access to humanitarian aid," and held hope for peaceful resolutions in North Africa and the Middle East, "May all citizens, especially young people, work to promote the common good."
Pope John Paul II To Be Beatified
Pope John Paul II, the beloved pope who died in 2005, is on the road to sainthood: The AP reports that Pope Benedict XVI "set May 1 as the date for John Paul's beatification — a key step toward Catholicism's highest honor and a major morale boost for a church reeling from the clerical sex abuse scandal."
Worshippers Head To St. Patrick's Midnight Mass
At midnight, Archbishop Timothy Dolan held Midnight Mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral, drawing an audience of hundreds, including Mayor Bloomberg, Governor-elect Andrew Cuomo and Police Commission Ray Kelly. Archbishop Dolan said, “A blessed Christmas to everyone. We are all home for Christmas here at St. Patrick’s cathedral. This holds true for silent night," and "We desperately try to fill up what's missing, while the root of every anguish is that we ignore the only one who can really fill that void: God."
Pope Benedict: Women Can Use Condoms To Stop HIV
When Pope Benedict made those somewhat confusing remarks saying that condoms could be used by male prostitutes to stop the spread of HIV, people thought, "Hey, what about the female sex workers?" Now it turns out that Pope Benedict thinks that the use of condoms by both men and women to prevent AIDS is a-okay! The Vatican spokesman said, "I personally asked the Pope if there was a serious, important problem in the choice of the masculine over the feminine. He told me no... It's the first step of taking responsibility, of taking into consideration the risk of the life of another with whom you have a relationship. ... This is if you're a woman, a man, or a transsexual."
Pope Benedict's Condom Stance Brings Hope, Confusion
Yesterday, excerpts of a book-length interview that Pope Benedict granted to a German journalist were printed, and one of the observations was that the Pontiff said that condoms could be used in some cases, such as for male prostitutes to reduce the risk of HIV infection. As AIDS activists cheer the Pope's stance, the Vatican claims this is not a change in papal outlook. And some Catholic New Yorkers wonders why he has to remain so selective.
Pope Benedict Meets, Prays With Abuse Victims
As the Catholic Church continues to deal with fallout from various sexual abuse scandals, Pope Benedict met with victims of sexual abuse by priests at a Malta orphanage yesterday in Malta. A Vatican statement said the Pope "was deeply moved by their stories and expressed his shame and sorrow over what victims and their families have suffered... He prayed with them and assured them that the church is doing, and will continue to do, all in its power to investigate allegations, to bring to justice those responsible for abuse and to implement effective measures designed to safeguard young people in the future."
At Vatican Easter Mass, Priest Defends Pope Benedict
Preceding today's Easter's Mass at the Vatican, Pope Benedict didn't reference the various scandals around the world involving abusive priests (unlike his Palm Sunday address), but another cleric did. According to the NY Times, Cardinal Angelo Sodano, a former secretary of state and the dean of the college of cardinals, said, "Holy Father, the people of God are with you, and do not let themselves be impressed by the gossip of the moment, by the challenges that sometimes strike at the community of believers."
Archbishop Dolan: NY Times Is Semi-Biased Against Vatican
After discussing the intense scrutiny the Pope and Catholic Church has faced during his Palm Sunday homily, New York Archbishop Timothy Dolan continued to hammer home his talking points as he headed into the Easter Weekend. During an appearance on Good Day, NY yesterday, Dolan said that while he welcomed the reporting of abusive priests and hangs his head in shame about it, he said terrible abuse occurs in "every religion, every culture, every family, every family... it's a cultural, societal problem."
Pope Benedict Will Not "Be Intimidated By Petty Gossip"
As the Vatican weathered another week of criticism of its handling of abusive priests, Pope Benedict said in his Palm Sunday address today, "From God comes the courage not to be intimidated by petty gossip." The UK's Telegraph reports, "Although he did not directly mention the crisis that has seen claims of abuse from Ireland, Germany, Austria, Holland and Brazil the 82 year old Pontiff's message was evidently clear"—previously, the Vatican has accused the media of trying to smear the Pontiff.
Pope Forgives Tackler, Vatican Unlikely To Press Charges
Two days after being tackled by a woman inside St. Peter's Basilica before Christmas Eve mass, Pope Benedict XVI "appeared in good shape" as he spoke to followers from a window at the Vatican today. However, the Vatican is deciding whether or not to press charges against the young woman and will be reviewing its papal security.
Woman Who Tackled Pope Benedict Tried Same Thing Last Year
It's turns out the woman who tackled Pope Benedict XVI as he walked down the aisle of St. Peter's Basilica for Christmas Eve mass is the same woman who tried to approach him last year. The NY Times reports that, according to the Vatican, "Susanna Maiolo, 25, a Swiss and Italian citizen with a history of mental problems...tried to leap at the pope after Midnight Mass last year, before security guards stopped her." This year, she was successful, leaping over barriers to the shocked gasps of others gathered:
Pope Benedict Tackled Before Christmas Eve Mass
During Christmas Eve mass at St. Peter's Basilica at the Vatican, Pope Benedict XVI was tackled by a woman who jumped a barrier. The pope was apparently unhurt, though shaken.The NY Times reports, per a Vatican spokesman, "the pope quickly got back on his feet and celebrated Mass before thousands of people, urging them in his homily to become 'truly vigilant people.' Television images showed a woman in red leap toward Benedict as he began to walk up the central aisle, as the police and bodyguards scrambled to the aide of the 82-year-old pope."
Vatican Makes A Play For Anglicans
Pope Benedict makes his move for British domination: The NY Times reports, " In an extraordinary bid to lure traditionalist Anglicans en masse, the Vatican on Tuesday announced that it would make it easier for Anglicans who are uncomfortable with their church’s acceptance of women priests and openly gay bishops to join the Roman Catholic Church... If entire parishes or even dioceses leave the Church of England for the Catholic church, it will probably set off battles over ownership of church buildings and land." Anglicans could maintain a distinct identity under an "Apostolic Constitution."
Pope Benedict: Greed Is Not Good
Today, on the eve of the G8 meeting in Italy, Pope Benedict issued an encyclical letter discussing the economic crisis, specifically noting the problems with greed. He wrote, "Profit is useful if it serves as a means toward an end. Once profit becomes the exclusive goal, if it is produced by improper means and without the common good as its ultimate end, it risks destroying wealth and creating poverty."
Archbishop Dolan Meets New Yorkers
Yesterday, the new head of the New York Archdiocese met parishioners as well as the press. Archbishop Timothy Dolan, appointed by Pope Benedict XVI to succeed Cardinal Edward Egan, is eager to get to know his new town, "I'm going to look forward to being part of everything in New York, from the New York Yankees to the museums to the soup kitchens to the orphanages to the hospitals."
Cardinal Egan Says Giuliani Broke "Understanding"
When Pope Benedict XVI gave a papal mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral, onlookers were surprised that former mayor Rudy Giuliani took Communion, given his three marriages and pro-choice abortion stance. Now Edward Cardinal Egan has issued a statement slamming Giuliani, saying Rudy was never supposed to have had the holy wafer!
Feds Will Help Pay for NYC Papal Visit Costs
Now that Pope Benedict XVI has left NYC, it's time to pay the NYPD overtime bills. According to the NYPD, the State Department will reimburse the city for 50-60% of the costs associated with making sure the pope was safe throughout his 3 days in the city.
Cardinal Egan May Leave NY Archdiocese Soon
Now that he has welcomed Pope Benedict XVI to NYC, the NY Times speculates that Cardinal Edward Egan could retire soon. Egan, the head of the powerful NY Archdiocese, presented his resignation letter last year (required by Vatican Law of all archbishops who turn 75).
Pope Benedict Uses Yankee Stadium Mass to Encourage Growth of Catholicism in the U.S.
Yesterday afternoon, Pope Benedict XVI gave mass at Yankee Stadium, saying the Catholic Church must build upon its "solid foundations" and "impressive legacy" in America, "From a small flock...the church in America has been built up in fidelity to the twin commandment of love of God and love of neighbor."

