Results tagged “penis”

When plotting to cut off some dude's Johnson, research is everything. On trial yesterday on charges of killing her father and cutting off his penis, airport security guard Brigitte Harris, 28, told jurors she thoroughly searched the Internet for rod-cutting inspiration, finding Lorena Bobbitt's infamous attack on her husband particularly helpful. But before anyone calls for banning the Internet to save the penises, note that Harris's father allegedly molested her since the age of 3 (and her younger sister).

A 15-year-old Brooklyn boy was arrested yesterday after accidentally shooting himself in the penis. The Post's stupid headline is, "So much for packing a, um, rod," and there are going to be plenty of bad jokes about going off half-cocked in the comments, but we can't help but pity the kid. Khamir Grant told cops he was walking home from Amersfort Park in East Flatbush around 1:30 a.m. Sunday with a gun in his waistband when the piece began to slip into his pants. When Grant grabbed for it, he accidentally pulled the trigger, firing a bullet "right through his penis," in the Post's words. Grant staggered home, told his mother what happened, and they took a livery car to Kings County Hospital, where Grant was released after treatment and then arrested. He's charged with reckless endangerment and criminal possession of a weapon—the same charges levied against Plaxico Burress, who last year shot himself in a nightclub under similar circumstances, albeit with less catastrophic results.

The Queens man whose wife dumped boiling water on his genitals as he slept Monday morning says he doesn't want his spouse of 21 years to be incarcerated, he just wants a divorce. Speaking to CBS2 from the hospital where he's recovering from 2nd and 3rd degree burns, Emmanuel Ojofietimi insisted he hasn't cheated on her... lately: "Maybe 20 years ago, 15 years ago." (He also tells the Post, "She kept nagging and nagging me all the time.") Oyindamola, his wife, is currently being held at Rikers in lieu of $100,000 bail. Yesterday nightly news crews hit the streets to gauge public reaction, and it's interesting how many people couldn't help but laugh a little, while simultaneously condemning this particularly gruesome act of revenge. Bellport resident Jessie Maldanado even admitted to CBS2 that she's considered mutilating her boyfriend's genitals if she caught him cheating. Her boyfriend, who was standing right next to her, sagely added, "I need to get that thought out of her head." What do you think? Is burning, biting, or gluing a man's rod or johnson acceptable punishment for infidelity? And for scorned ladies contemplating vengeance, the Frisky has a thorough roundup of history's most infamous paybacks.

Intertube-savvy metropolitan diners now have yet another way to make sure their every culinary craving is sated: the new website FoodieBytes, now beta testing, lets users search restaurant menus based on the food they desire. For instance, typing in “pesto” and “whole wheat pasta” yields over a hundred New York eateries. You can narrow your search by neighborhood and, once you find a restaurant that seems appealing, peruse the entire menu, get the hours, address and price info, and find directions through a Google Maps interface.

The Sklar Brothers spent years living in New York, working their way through the alternative comedy scene, becoming in demand performers, and eventually getting their own MTV show, Apt 2F, and later a Comedy Central Special. Then, once they had moved to LA and gotten comfortable, they were sent back into New York to film their show Cheap Seats for ESPN Classics. It seems like the Sklars just can't stay away from the city because...

Police are investigating the discovery of a bound and mutilated body, found in the attic apartment of a home on Beach 69th Street in the Arverne neighborhood. The victim is described as a 55-year-old man, and news reports say his penis was cut off, though that has not been confirmed by the ME's office.

While SFist cringed at the fatal dose of crime littering the Bay Area, it found solace in Hillary Clinton's San Francisco campaign headquarters opening, which featured loads of exposed mammary glands. In other news, SF Taxi Commission ruled that Satan's cab must keep its (in)famous medallion number, 666; and in an un-fashion-forward frenzy, San Francisco Fashion Week (chortle) bars bloggers from covering and getting smashed at their shows and parties, respectively. Also, they found a picture displaying the woes of cruising in a tacky limo on the streets of San Francisco.

To anyone attending next year's Puerto Rican Day Parade, we have this suggestion: Don't wear black-and-gold. At a press conference, parade organizers decried arrests of people who were not engaged in any illegal activity during Sunday's event. National Puerto Rican Day Parade president Madelyn Lugo said, "We are very disappointed and alarmed that these violations of civil rights should occur."

A Manhattan man is suing the makers of the energy drink Boost because the drink gave him a three day erection. Christopher Woods claims that he has suffered "pain, shock and mental anguish" after drinking Boost in June of 2004. He started to drink the product in order to gain weight, but a day after drinking Boost, his pains began. From the Post:

The suit says [Woods] used the "product in accordance with its intended use" - and soon had a very visible side effect.

Continue reading "Too Much of a "Boost""

We've always thought that penis enlargement stories would be best kept discreet. But we guess that if one is suing a doctor for botching a penis enlargement surgery, you've got to name names. Orlando Santiago had sued Dr. Mark Filstein at the Ridgewood Health and Beauty Center in Queens; Santiago claimed that not only was he impotent after the procedure, his penis was smaller. From the Daily News:

Santiago had his malpractice case tossed in 2005, when a Bronx judge ruled that Filstein had adequately informed his patient about the surgery's risks.

Continue reading "When Wanting to Be Bigger Turns Out Bad"

Jagshemash!

Automobile, by Daniella Zalcman. Tag your pix "Gothamist" on Flickr if you want us to use them.

+ Red Auerbach, who coached the Boston Celtics to 16 championships, died at 89. He grew up in Williamsburg, learned how to play basketball at PS 122 and almost coached the Knicks.

-- Did you know that the average bed takes up $30,000 worth of floor space in Manhattan? We're totally Murphy-ing everything we own - even the cat!

A couple of years ago, while leaving a show at Irving Plaza, one of the many people handing out cd's - handed us a cd. It wasn't in any fancy packaging, wasn't eye catching for any reason, and we held on to it and listened later that night. The band was called The Epochs, and we had a new rule about listening to cd's handed to us on the street.

On the Down Low

-- From Tenement.org, a cool map of NYC Projects.

ART: Tonight Dreamland: Coney Island 1905-1925 opens. The exhibit is opened through August 19th and features "original drawings, blueprints, and vintage photographs of New York City’s favorite amusement park, Coney Island."

- "All of a sudden, this man moved into my frame of reference, and I was staring at a penis. I couldn't believe it."Regarding that last quote, that's totally happened to us (uptown 2 train at 14th Street!). While we do understand that in crowded subway cars it's more difficult to disrcern what's groping and what's unintential "there's no room" nudging, when a penis enters the equation, it's safe to say the guy's a pervert. Also, for those crowded subway cars, try to position a bag or jacket on over your butt.

Troi Torain, aka DJ Star, aka the DJ who threatened rival DJ Envy by saying he'd pull an R. Kelly on DJ Envy's four year old daughter, while using racist slurs to refer to DJ Envy's wife, is hoping his criminal case will be thrown out. DJ Star was arrested for his remarks (child endangerment), but his lawyer, Benjamin Brafman, says that other DJs started it. Namely, Miss Jones, from Miss Jones in the Morning on Hot 97. Torain claims Miss Jones called him an "alcoholic" and said he "liked boys," called his mom a "prostitute" and his dad a "tar-black" "Sambo," and said her young son's penis was probably the size of Torain's (via Daily News and Post). Okay, those aren't very nice, but why all the vitriol towards DJ Envy when it's all about Miss Jones? At any rate, Brafman would like the whole Miss Jones in the Morning crew to be arrested.

Londonist prepares a Happy Birthday bath for Buddah this week and then things get all cliched. A madman goes on a rampage while axe-wiedling and London's mayor warns an American diplomat to avoid the kitchen if the heat bothers him so much.

There's nothing like calling it like you see it: CC on citynoise had an unfortunate encounter wtih an exposed man on a 7 train. Well, more accurately, the whole train car had the encounter, but CC actually did something about it while on a Friday night Flushing-bound train:

He was watching us from underneath his sunglasses, hoping that we'd notice. I took out my camera phone and snapped some pictures. He tried to cover his face with his Archie book and his hands but he couldn't keep that up. After I was sure I had him, I yelled, "Sir, your penis is out." I wanted everyone on the train to know what kind of person he is. He stayed very still, perhaps hoping everyone would think he was sleeping or that he'd blend into the background. I told him that I've taken pictures and that they are going to the NYPD and websites. As soon as the train stopped at Junction Blvd. he began moving again and ran out of the train. I called him a pervert on his way out.

This week's award for most disturbing pizza delivery story definitely goes to NYC Nosh. Check out their account of the insanity that ensued after they ordered a pie from Fat Sal's:

An anonymous commenter on Gothamist Labs sent in this link to a rendering of this gigantic imaginary penis-like building. It seems to be positioned up by 59th Street or so, and looks to be about 10,000 ft tall! That's probably impossibly tall, even with the futuristic elevators that will no doubt be invented by our future robot overlords. [Related: NYC fantasy buildings at SkyscraperPage-- our favorite is the 2500ft BoA Center-- and the never-built NYC page at Emporis.]

Ellen Friedrichs, Sex Educator

Mayor Bloomberg is getting more support - not that he needed it - for his aggressive stand against firearms in the city as well as the NYPD's handling of crminals as the story of Damon Henry makes the rounds. Henry was shot over the weekend by the NYPD when he fired an Uzi (!!!) at them in East Flatbush. The Post says, "The pursuing police responded with about 30 rounds, hitting him in the torso and legs, blowing off a finger and his penis," according to police. Crime does not pay. It turns out that Henry once owned - and used the gun to shoot an officer - the same gun that killed police officer Dillon Stewart last year. Henry will be tried under a new law that has harsher penalties for people who attack the police - Henry could face a minimum of 20-40 years.

Beloved memoirist Augusten Burroughs will be giving a reading next Tuesday of his latest book, Magical Thinking, at Coliseum Books. And he's going to dish about the new film adaptation of Running with Scissors (Annette Bening will play his mom, Gabrielle Union his mother's girlfriend; Brian Cox is his mom's shrink and Gwyneth Paltrow, Kristin Chenoweth, and Evan Rachel Wood seem to be play his daughters). His last event, at Cooper Union, was totally packed in the steamy summer weather - so if you go, you might want to get there before 6:

Jessica Coen, Editor, Gawker.com