Until we see the photographic evidence of Osama bin Laden's grisly end that members of Congress were privy to, we're entitled to our theories, man. He could be living in a vault underneath 1 World Trade Center! Or, he could be amassing a zombie army in Afghanistan. The trailer for the brilliantly named Osombie: The Axis of Evil Dead posits just that theory. Watch the bone-biting, machine gun-firing, washboard-ab-flashing, sex in the desert results:
Trailer: Osombie Proves Bin Laden Is Undead, Eating Flesh
Terror Porn Alert: You May See Photos Of Bin Laden's Corpse
It's a proud day to be an American terror-porn fetishist: an analysis of a DOJ filing by The Atlantic Wire reveals that the Obama administration may be forced to release photos of Osama bin Laden's dead body if "sensitive information" is redacted. The portion of the brief "concedes that there are reasonably segregable, nonexempt portions of the records that are legally required to be disclosed," a former director of the DOJ's Office of Information and Privacy says. Will they still be released "like a wedding album?"
2011 In A NY Minute: Slimy Pols, Married Gays, Natural Disasters And Tony Bologna
Unlike 2010, there were no sexy bankers, tourist lanes, or gubernatorial races dominating our headlines this year. But there were natural disasters (Hurricane Irene) and global protest movements (Occupy Wall Street), strange political scandals (Weinergate, Deputy Mayor Goldsmith), strange sex scandals (parlez-vous DSK?), police corruption (the ticket-fixing saga), a long-awaited step forward (gay marriage), and the 10th Anniversary of 9/11. Revisit the year with this look back.
Video: WTC The Day After Osama bin Laden Died
Remember filmmaker Todd Bieber? He found a canister of undeveloped film in Prospect Park after last winter's Blizzageddon, and ended up travelling to Europe to reunite the film with the owner. Now, to coincide with the tenth anniversary of 9/11, Bieber has released a video he took at the WTC the day after Osama bin Laden's death was announced, gauging the reaction of citizens after the death of the man who plotted the 9/11 attacks. Watch below:
Bronx Man Commemorates 9/11 Anniversary With Replica Of Twin Towers
A week from the tenth anniversary of the September 11 attacks, a MTA bus mechanic has finished a 12-foot replica of the twin towers on the front lawn of his home in the Country Club section of the Bronx. "I made a promise to the victims 10 years ago that if there was something to do for them, I would do it," Matt Galcik tells the Daily News. "This is me keeping my promise."
Peter King Demands Investigation Into Bin Laden Movie
Rep. Peter King loves himself a good old fashioned controversy-courting witch trial hearing, whether it's on Muslim "radicalization" or pizza tourism. And now he's set his sights on a new target: King is calling for an investigation into the Obama administration to figure out the nature of their collaboration with two Hollywood filmmakers who are making a movie about the hunt for and death of Osama bin Laden.
Helicopter Shot Down Killing 30 Americans Was Flying Over A "Taliban Stronghold"
As more details become available on yesterday's helicopter crash in the Wardak Province of Afghanistan that killed 30 Americans and 8 Afghans, authorities have determined that the aircraft was shot down by insurgents aligned with the Taliban, most-likely with a rocket-propelled grenade. The Times points out, "they could have hardly found a more valuable target," as 22 of the dead were members of the elite Navy SEAL Team 6, the same unit that killed Osama bin Laden in May. However, authorities say that none of the SEALs who were on the bin Laden raid were killed in yesterday's incident, which was the deadliest in the decade-long war in Afghanistan.
Bin Laden Was Planning 10th Anniversary 9/11 Attack
File this under news that shouldn't surprise you: according to documents retrieved from his compound after his death, Osama bin Laden and Al Qaeda were plotting another attack on U.S. soil to commemorate the tenth anniversary of the September 11th attacks. However the plans never moved passed the discussion phase, the Wall Street Journal is reporting.
Bin Laden "Deathers" Will Search Arabian Sea For His Corpse
Sure, some people believe that Osama Bin Laden was shot and killed by Navy SEAL commandos and then dropped into the ocean. These are the same sort of people who believe that Obama was born in Hawaii and deny the fact that Captain Crunch contains microscopic razor blades to cut the roof of your mouth, flooding your bloodstream with addictive "Crunch ions" developed by the Pope's secret lab at Roswell. But one American hero refuses to believe the "reality's" version of events: treasure-hunting explorer Bill Warren, who is planning to travel to the North Arabian Sea to find Bin Laden's corpse and confirm his death once and for all.
Bin Laden, In Posthumous Tape, Declares "Winds Of Change" After Arab Spring
Bin Laden, who was killed in a US raid on May 2, 2011, in Pakistan, telling supporters to "set up an operations room that follows up events and works in parallel ... to save the people that are struggling to bring down their tyrants."
Peter King Feels "Intense Satisfaction" After Seeing Bin Laden Photos
Rep. Peter King told the Daily News that he felt "intense satisfaction" after seeing photos of Osama Bin Laden's corpse taken by Navy SEALs after their raid on bin Laden's Abottabad safehouse. After repeating Senator James Inhofe's description of the brains spilling out of bin Laden's eye socket, King said that the photos themselves were put together "like a wedding album." No word on whether the CIA used those special little scissors to breathe some well-needed whimsy into photographic evidence of the dead terrorist leader.
NYC Tabloid Gold: "Osama Bin Wankin," "Osama Porn Laden"
With the news that porn was found in Osama bin Laden's Abbottabad home, the NY Post and Daily News had fun with their front pages. Of course, in this instance, the Post wins, with the "Osama Bin Wankin" headline and "It's Whora Bora—porn found in Laden's foxhole," compared to the News' "Osama Porn Laden" and "X-rated stash found his hideout."
Report: Osama Was Obsessed With Killing Obama
According to US Intelligence officials, Osama bin Laden wanted to kill President Obama as part of a plot to disrupt the 2012 presidential elections. Officials have been analyzing over one million pages of data recovered during the assault on bin Laden at the start of the month, and they have learned more in the past ten days about him and his operation than in the past 10 years. "I would say this is probably very personal on bin Laden's part, to kill a President that he believes has violated the Muslim faith...He is incensed, inflamed, obsessed about killing the President," said Brad Garrett, a former FBI profiler.
Breaking News: Osama bin Laden's "Fairly Extensive" Porn Stash Found
It seems that Osama bin Laden had plenty of good use for all that "natural Viagra," and we're not talking about his three wives/shields: U.S. officials say that commandos found a stash of pornography in bin Laden's hideout when they killed him. Was Abbottabad Girls 3: Bad To The Hijab among them?
Photo Shows Osama Bin Laden's "Brains Coming Out" Of Eye Socket, Says Senator Inhofe
Senator James Inhofe (R-Oklahoma) has seen the photographs of Osama bin Laden's corpse after U.S. Special Forces raided the Al Qaeda leader's Pakistan hideaway-in-plain-sight and killed him. And Inhofe says they are "grotesque," describing, "Either a bullet, the significant bullet, went through the ear and out the eye socket, or vice versa," and he's generous enough to want everyone else to see dead Bin Laden photographs, too!
Peter King's Viewing Of Bin Laden Corpse Photos Will Bring Him "Satisfaction"
New York Congressional Rep. and rumored Faces of Death fan Peter King told Politico that the images of bin Laden's corpse that he and a select group of lawmakers will view at the CIA's Langley headquarters in the coming days will bring some measure of closure to him: "to actually see the person with my own eyes who did it, see him dead
gives me some satisfaction."
Bin Laden's Son: My Father's Killing Violated International Law
As part of a statement he sent to the New York Times, Osama bin Laden's son Omar bin Laden, declared that the killing of his father by US military forces in Pakistan "blatantly violated" international law. Speaking in the "editorial we," bin Laden's son stated that he "always disagreed with our father regarding any violence and always sent messages to our father, that he must change is ways and that no civilians should be attacked under any circumstances."
Bin Laden's "Viagra" A "Popular Item" At East Village Shop
It seems that the leader of Al Qaeda isn't the only one who's talked to their herbal remedy specialist about Avena. The Daily News went to East Village supplement shop Flower Power and was told that the "herbal viagra" is "one of our most popular items."
Hasidic Paper Photoshops Temptress Hillary Clinton Out Of Situation Room
An Ultra-Orthodox Hasidic Jewish newspaper called Der Tzitung could find itself in legal trouble for removing Secretary of State Hillary Clinton from that iconic photo taken in the Situation Room during the Osama bin Laden mission. Clinton and Director for Counterterrorism Audrey Tomason were both airbrushed out of the photo because the newspaper's policy is not to publish any images of women in case they could be considered sexually suggestive. But when you think about it, it's amazing anybody in the State Department can get any work done with Clinton flouncing around the office distracting them with her feminine wiles.
Bin Laden's Secret Stash Of "Viagra" Located
Like so many affluent, 50-something males before him, Osama Bin Laden may have needed a little something extra to ensure that he could have sex. According to NBC News "nearly a dozen drugs" were found in the Abottabad compound after last week's raid, including medicine to treat "ulcers and gastric reflux," a drug to treat high blood pressure, and "Avena syrup," an artificial sweetener that doubles as a "natural Viagra." We knew that the blue pill was our lil' helper in the War on Terror, but it appears it was a double agent.
Videos: Tina Fey's SNL Full Of Osama Bin Laden, Mothers, And, Yes, Palin
Tina Fey returned to her old Studio 8H stomping grounds and hosted a Saturday Night Live whose two main themes were "Osama bin Laden is dead!" and "It's Mother's Day!" After a cold opening showing Osama bin Laden's videotaped last will (requesting a virgin 12-year-old Dakota Fanning), Fey launched into a song about her unborn child along with fellow SNL alum Maya Rudolph, who is also expecting. Later on, there were sketches about natural childbirth, finding Bin Laden in the sea, a Digital Short with Michael Bolton and a Republican debate featuring Sarah Palin ("It’s just so great to be back on Fox News, a network that both pays me and shows me the questions ahead of tim. I just hope that tonight the lamestream media won’t twist my words by repeating them verbatim"), Donald Trump, and many others...like Jimmy McMillan.
Videos: Pentagon Shares Osama bin Laden's Home Videos
A week after U.S. Special Forces successfully raiding Osama bin Laden's Pakistani hideaway and killing the Al Qaeda leader, the Defense Department shared five home videos found in the compound. The videos apparently show him getting preparing (and practicing) to give one of his infamous messages to the United States. According to ABC News, one of the videos "shows bin Laden watching himself on television and holding the remote control to change the channels between what appear to be Arabic news channels" while in another Bin Laden, who "appears to have dyed his beard black, is wearing a gold shawl over a white vestment and is wearing a white skullcap."
Obama Visits SEALs Behind Closed Doors
President Obama met with the members of the elite Navy SEAL unit that executed the raid on Osama Bin Laden's compound and killed the terrorist leader, before giving a speech to the soldiers at Fort Campbell, Kentucky, CBS reports. The meeting, which took place behind closed doors, was held so that the president could "offer his personal admiration and gratitude for our servicemembers." The president also gave the SEALs the Presidential Unit Citation, which is "the highest such honor that can be given to a unit." It's unclear whether the "war dog" received a citation as well.
NYU Student Who Made $100K On Osama Shirts Has Change of Heart
We briefly noted yesterday that a 23-year-old business student at NYU made over $100,000 in two days selling t-shirts that trumpeted the death of Osama Bin Laden. But now CBS is reporting that the budding entrepreneur, Maurice Harary, had a change of heart, and is refunding all of the proceeds: "Celebrating over the death of someone, whoever it is, is evil in my eyes." No word on whether the newly-enlightened Harary plans to confiscate every Che Guevara shirt at NYU.
Bin Laden & Al Qaeda Sought to Exploit Racial Tensions in US
Al Qaeda and Osama Bin Laden sought to harm the US by "attempting to inflame race and class tensions in hopes of tearing down the country from the inside out," sources who have seen the evidence recovered from Bin Laden's compound have told ABC News. In addition to traditional terrorist attacks, Bin Laden wished to "create a divisiveness that would cause more damage than al Qaeda could ever do on their own." This included recruiting blacks in the US, "to capitalize on them to further the jihadi cause."
CIA Drone Strike Misses Intended Target, Kills Other Al Qaeda Members
A CIA Predator Drone strike in Yemen on Thursday failed to hit its intended target, American citizen Anwar al-Awalaki, but may have killed other members of Al Qaeda, the Times reports. Al-Awalaki, a Muslim cleric who was born in New Mexico and recruits English-speaking extremists through internet sermons, is believed to be a member of Al Qaeda's branch in the Arabian Peninsula.
Michael Moore: Bin Laden Execution Shows We've Lost Our Soul
Michael Moore was on Piers Morgan's show last night to say, "We've lost something of our soul here in this country" by "executing" Osama bin Laden without a trial. Moore is disappointed that the unarmed bin Laden was not taken alive, because he still believes in due process and crap like the Magna Carta. Moore contends the Al Qaeda leader was intentionally executed, and he thinks the right to a trial is "something that separates us from other parts, other countries where we say everybody has their day in court no matter how bad of a person, no matter what piece of scum they are, they have a right to a trial...after World War II, we just didn't go in and put a bullet to the head of all the top Nazis. We put them on trial." Whatever, hippie!
Osama bin Laden Files Reveal Al Qaeda May Be Planning 9/11 Anniversary Attack
Among the juiciest details released after the successful US operation to kill Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden last weekend was the mention that the military took hard drives from the compound—"10 hard drives, 5 computers and more than 100 storage devices which includes discs, DVDs and thumb drives." Investigators have been poring through those files, and have now revealed that Al Qaeda had been considering attacking the US rail system on the 10th anniversary of 9/11.
Even Al Qaeda Acknowledges Osama bin Laden Is Dead
Five days after President Obama announced that US forces in Pakistan had successfully located and killed Osama bin Laden, Al Qaeda confirmed the death of their leader this morning. They posted a statement on jihadist forums today, which was translated by US monitoring group SITE Intelligence, vowing to avenge his death: "We call upon our Muslim people in Pakistan, on whose land Sheikh Osama was killed, to rise up and revolt to cleanse this shame that has been attached to them by a clique of traitors and thieves who sold everything to the enemies...a curse that chases the Americans and their agents, and goes after them inside and outside their countries."
Finally, Drink Recipes For Your "Osama Is Dead" Party
Since Sunday night, for better or worse, Americans in general and New Yorkers in particular have been keeping busy marking the death of Osama bin Laden with spontaneous celebrations. And just as the excitement was starting to die down, yesterdays visit by President Obama brought it all back. So of course today the Post has a story with drink recipes to help you "juice up any 'Osama is dead' party." Wait, what?

