Former Vice President and Eternal Sith Lord Dick Cheney received a heart transplant last night. According to the Times he is recuperating at a Northern Virginia hospital. "Although the former Vice President and his family do not know the identity of the donor, they will be forever grateful for this lifesaving gift," aide Kara Ahern said in a statement. Cheney, a former smoker, has suffered five heart attacks, the first of which occurred when he was 37 years old. He had been living with a battery-powered heart pump until the pump saw W and threatened to walk off the job. more ›

BP has reached a settlement with hundreds of thousands of businesses and individuals along the Gulf Coast who had sued the company after the massive oil spill in 2010. According to the Times, the settlement will replace all the animals and organic matter laid to waste from the spill and will restore the ocean to the condition it was in prior to the spill will pay up to $7.8 billion in claims. This represents the "upper limit" of the cost of the settlement, because the company contends that it has already paid $8 billion to claimants and another $14 billion on cleanup. BP made over $15 billion in nine months last year. more ›

At a rally in Michigan earlier today, GOP presidential frontrunner Rick Santorum told the crowd the real reason the economy tanked four years ago: "We went into a recession in 2008 because of gasoline prices." According to BuzzFeed, Santorum added, "The bubble burst in housing because people couldn’t pay their mortgages because of $4 a gallon gasoline." In related news, the Iraq War was caused by Social Security, the obesity epidemic is due to Solyndra, and the current unemployment rate? That's Mrs. Santorum's fault. more ›

Saif al-Islam Gadhafi, the son and former heir-apparent of murdered Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi, was captured at a checkpoint in the desert near the town of Obari at around 1:30 a.m. He was later transported to the western mountain town on Zintan. According to Reuters, Gadhafi was afraid he'd be killed like his father. "At the beginning he was very scared. He thought we would kill him," one of his captors said. Asked by a reporter if he was physically okay, Gadhafi answered, "Yes." According to the Times, news of his capture caused massive celebrations in Tripoli. more ›

The heir to the kingdom of Saudi Arabia, Crown Prince Sultan bin Abdul-Aziz Al Saud, died in a New York City hospital late last night. Prince Sultan, whose half-brother is King Abdullah bin Abd al-Aziz, was thought to be in his 80s—his official age is 80—and had been previously described as "frail." The Wall Street Journal reports, "The Saudi government did not reveal the cause of death. Prince Sultan was thought by outside experts to have been suffering from cancer. He was in New York City for treatment." more ›

Occupy Wall Street take note: when garnering headlines that don't have anything to do with NYPD brutality, nudity—or more specifically, orgies—may be the way to go. At a meeting between British and Canadian officials yesterday in London, to discuss the UK's purchase of Canada's sweet sweet tar sands oil, two protesters stood up, stripped down, covered themselves in "oil" (what appears to be chocolate) and begin an "oil orgy" that looks like something out of a Christopher Guest movie. more ›

Former British prime minister Tony Blair secretly met with deposed dictator Moammer Gadhafi—even flying to the country on one of Gadhafi's private jets—in 2008 and in 2009, one day before Lockerbie bomber Abdel Basset al-Megrahi's prisoner release form was signed. In correspondence and email found by the Telegraph, Blair refers to Gadhafi as "The Leader," and also met with the chairman of Libya's state-owned National Oil Company. "These new meetings between Mr. Blair and Gadhafi are disturbing, and details of what was discussed should now be made public," Oliver Miles, former British ambassador to Libya said. "I am astonished Tony Blair continued to have meetings like this out of office." more ›

Confirming what was suspected all along, a Senate report says that the Scottish government released the convicted Lockerbie bomber for oil money. According to the Daily News, "Libya's threats to shut British-based oil giant BP out of deals worth hundreds of millions led Britain and the regional government of Scotland to turn loose plotter Abdelbaset Ali Mohammed al-Megrahi in August 2009, the report said." Megrahi was being held for the 1988 bombing that killed 246 people on Pan Am flight 103—189 of the passengers were American. Senator Robert Menendez (D-NJ) said the release was prompted by threats of "commercial warfare." more ›

Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah bin Abd al-Aziz arrived in NYC on Tuesday for a medical stay and now he's "recovering" after surgery. The 87-year-old leader of the world's top oil-producing country, who had a blot clot form on a slipped disc and needed treatment, reportedly had a "successful operation." His brother, Crown Prince Sultan, also in his 80s, is in charge of the country, but is also described as "frail"; Reuters says, "The kingdom is keen to show its allies in Washington and elsewhere there will be no power vacuum as health problems beset its octogenarian rulers, but the question of whether a reformist or a conservative will take over remains a matter of concern." more ›

Yesterday thousands of people across the country joined together as part of "Hands Across the Sand" to protest offshore drilling and promote clean energy. Locally, gatherings were organized at Coney Island, Long Beach, and down the shore in New Jersey. Asbury Park protester Karen Broselofsky told NJ.com, "The more people show they care, the more the right things will happen. I’m really worried about the world my nieces and their children are going to inherit." more ›

Well, the oil in the Gulf is already on its way to Pensacola and Cuba, and who knows, maybe Scotland? But Spirit Airlines wants you to know there's a different kind of oil in Ft. Lauderdale. (That is, until the spill hits the Loop Current.) Ads on their website invite travelers to check out the (tanning) oil on beaches in Atlantic City, San Juan and Cancun for $50 off! All while poking a little harmless fun at a horrific environmental catastrophe. Did the fees from carry on luggage pay for that brilliant ad campaign, or did their marketing department just hire Tony Hayward? [Via Deadspin] more ›

Though the latest NOAA oil spill trajectory says oil is at least 100 miles off the shore of Florida, but this video from the Huffington Post begs to differ. Filmed just 20 miles southeast of Pensacola, the National Wildlife Federation found fish struggling to survive. They even spotted a blacktip shark, which is classified as a near-threatened species. more ›

More uplifting news from the Gulf: the brown pelican, which was taken off the endangered species list just last year, could be facing endangerment again! Dozens of brown pelicans have been brought to rescue centers, so coated in the slick oil that their markings were barely visible. Though some of the birds have been released back into the wild. federal officials said 612 "damaged" birds have been cataloged since the rig explosion—most of them dead. National Wildlife Federation Doug Inkley told the Times, “The pelicans are in dire trouble." Gee, ya think? more ›

As you can see, Obama's cunning plot to spill oil into the gulf in order to justify strict new environmental regulations is going exactly according to plan. These devastating photos of sea birds and brown pelicans (Louisiana's state bird) coated in oil were taken yesterday by AP photographer Charlie Riedel, and they call to mind something BP CEO Tony Hayward said about two weeks ago: "The environmental impact of this disaster is likely to be very, very modest." Have a great weekend, everybody! We'll be spending the rest of the day drafting our resignation letter from the human race. Meanwhile... more ›

BP has announced that "Top Kill," their attempt at plugging the Gulf of Mexico oil leak by pumping mud into the busted pipe, has failed. BP PLC Chief Operating Officer Doug Suttles said at a news conference last night that after three days, the company determined the method wasn't working, and said, "This scares everybody, the fact that we can't make this well stop flowing, the fact that we haven't succeeded so far." Most of the mud and junk used to plug the hole ended up escaping out of the pipe, and the company made the decision with the government to stop the attempt. Next plan: BP will use robot submarines to cut off the damaged pipe and then attempt to cap it, which could take at least four days. more ›

According to Jefferson Parish Councilman Chris Roberts, BP recruited workers for the tune of $12 an hour to show up for Obama's visit to Grand Isle, Louisiana yesterday—and sent them away as soon as the president left! Roberts told CNN that he had never seen more than 20 workers before at the cleanup site, but BP bussed in nearly 400 workers. "The sheriff's office did manage to get one person to speak with them and that individual said they were hired yesterday and told to report to a staging area at 7:30 this morning. It just doesn't add up." more ›

In the hours before the Deepwater Horizon rig exploded in the Gulf of Mexico on April 20th, BP received and ignored warning signs that something was seriously wrong. In a memo [pdf] released last night, the House committee investigating the disaster confirmed that BP made a "fundamental mistake" in continuing operations after the problems were detected. The memo doesn't say who specifically made the call to keep drilling after the problem was found, but we can just about picture the guy. BP's investigation has "also raised concerns about the maintenance history, modification, inspection, and testing of the [rig]." more ›

It looks like that "Loop Current" might be working as feared, as globs of tar have started washing up on the shores of Key West, Florida. The balls, 3- to 8-inches in diameter, were found at Fort Zachary Taylor State Park beach, but the Coast Guard doesn't want to jump to conclusions just yet. Lt. jg. Anna Dixon told AOL News, "We don't even know the origin of these things. We're going to try to confirm where they came from and search for any more and commence cleanup if any more are found." more ›

President Obama was fed up with executives from BP, Transocean and Halliburton trying to blame each other for the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, "I did not appreciate what I considered to be a ridiculous spectacle during the congressional hearings into this matter. You had executives of BP and Transocean and Halliburton falling over each other to point the finger of blame at somebody else. The American people could not have been impressed with that display, and I certainly wasn't." more ›

In case you haven't seen it and you still need to fill your daily quota for helpless outrage, here is the first video of the source of those 4 million gallons of toxic crude oil spilling into the Gulf of Mexico from BP's broken oil well. There is no sound, so don't worry about your screams of rage drowning out any edifying commentary. (SPOILER ALERT: At the end, it just keeps gushing.) more ›

The attempt to curtail the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico via a 100-ton cofferdam isn't going to plan anymore. According to the Wall Street Journal, icy gas hydrate crystals have formed inside the dome, clogging the area where the oil would be contained and flow up to a freighter on the surface. BP chief operating officer Doug Suttles said, "I wouldn't say it has failed. What I would say is what we attempted to do last night wasn't successful." more ›

Yesterday's lowering of a 100-ton cofferdam over one of the oil well leaks "is very good progress," according to BP spokesman Bill Salvin, who compared the procedure to "taking a four-story building and lowering it 5,000 feet and setting it on the head of a pin." The containment box is currently the best hope to cap the ruptured well that has been leaking 200,000 gallons of oil a day. Once it is secured, about 85% of the escaping oil would be forced through piping to a freighter on the surface. The rest would still spew into the ocean. more ›

President Obama is planning his first visit to the Gulf Coast as the massive oil spill has nearly tripled in area and touched down on Louisiana soil, and will be briefed on efforts to control the spill, which is currently leaking over 210,000 gallons of oil a day. Critics are already comparing the government's slow response to the Bush Administration's response to the Hurricane Katrina disaster. However, Obama seems to be on top of things, and isn't telling anyone they did a "heckuva job" just yet. more ›

State officials say oil spill cleanup efforts under Greenpoint are seriously picking up speed. “In terms of oil recovery, we’re more than a third of the way there,” state Department of Environmental Conservation project manager Ed Hampston told the Brooklyn Paper. With the help of new sludge-sucking pumps (and at the urging of subway artists), workers removed 880,000 gallons of oil last year, more than twice as much as in 2008. Since 2000, the year the cleanup began, 10.8 million gallons of petroleum product have been extracted. more ›

About 6,000 gallons of heating fuel leaked out of a tank in the basement of a New York University-owned housing complex yesterday. It's unclear exactly what caused the oil to spill out of the tank — which is a backup system for heating and hot water in NYU's Washington Square Village development at Bleecker and Mercer streets, according to the Daily News. "We are determined to figure out what caused the spill and resolve it," said university spokesman John Beckman. Residents were not evacuated from the buildings, but some complained of fumes from the fuel in hallways and stairways. "You breathe this stuff in for five minutes, you'll get headaches," said Irish studies professor John Waters, 45, who lives on the sixth floor with his wife and daughter. "This is a disaster." more ›

Reports are coming across the police scanner of a "large oil fuel spill" in New York University's Washington Square Village. According to dispatches, about 6,000 gallons of heating oil have spilled in the basement of the graduate student housing complex at the corner of Bleecker and Mercer streets. NYU personnel are apparently attempting to pump the oil out of the basement. The spill takes place about a block away from the site of NYU's new underground cogeneration facility, which is intended to improve energy efficiency while reducing "fuel consumption and associated emissions of pollutants to the environment." more ›

Last week a driver for Ferrantino Fuel made a delivery of 100 gallons of oil to a Queens home, which obviously wouldn't be noteworthy, if not for the fact that the house doesn't even have an oil tank. And it has never had an oil tank; the heating oil was just funneled through an outside pump, flooding the basement. Now homeowner John Byas's newly renovated basement is ruined, his carpet yanked up, his furniture piled outside in a heap, and wife hospitalized from the fumes. more ›

Flush with socialist bailout money, General Motors is now trying to destroy the oil industry with a car that will get 230 miles per gallon in city driving! GM calls it the Chevy Volt and classifies it as an "extended-range vehicle" powered by an electric motor and a battery pack with a 40-mile range. (After that, a small internal combustion engine takes over to generate electricity for a total range of 300 miles.) Toyota’s Prius, the most fuel-efficient hybrid sold in the U.S., gets 48 miles per gallon and looks like a Hummer 3 by comparison. GM CEO Fritz Henderson promises that at the U.S. average cost of electricity (approximately 11 cents per kWh), a typical Volt driver would pay about $2.75 for electricity to travel 100 miles, or less than 3 cents per mile. Of course, big oil still has some time to assassinate Henderson and burn down GM's R&D labs—the first-generation Volt is expected to cost about $40,000, which most consumers might not swallow even if gasoline returns to $4 per gallon. And the E.P.A. still has run its own tests to confirm GM's assertions, but the company says Volt is on schedule to reach showrooms late next year. But whatever happened to the P.U.M.A.!? more ›

Yesterday, the Dow Jones Industrial Average took a 400-point-drop bath, prompted by rising oil prices and higher unemployment numbers, and stirred up more recession fears. more ›