There hasn't been a Montauk Monster sighting for a while, and maybe that's thanks to artist Davis Murphy, who recently brought some wildlife to the sandy shores of Long Island. Surely monsters are scared off by ultra-realistic looking rhinos, right? They do, after all, weigh in at 250 pounds each, and measure 12-feet-long.
Rhinos Take Over A Montauk Beach
Sickos Keep Abusing Animals On Long Island
As an increasing number of animals in the Easthampton region suffer at the hands of really awful people, concerned citizens and the SPCA are offering tens of thousands of dollars in reward money to find out who's responsible. In addition to a seagull with a dart shot through its head that was spotted in Sag Harbor, a box turtle was found with a nail hammered through its shell, a swan that was impaled with an arrow was picked up in Riverhead, and a seagull was crushed to death with a rock the size of a brick near the Royal Atlantic Beach Motel in Montauk. The bird with a dart through its head flew away before it could be rescued, but the swan and the turtle are both recuperating.
Long Island Man Killed By Freak Rat-Borne Virus
A Long Island man was killed by a rare rodent-borne disease last week, in a freak illness that's only the second confirmed case of hantavirus pulmonary syndrome in the state since 1995.
Pilot Of Fatal Crash Was Experienced In Emergency Landings
The pilot of the plane that crashed in Armonk yesterday killing all four people on board had once safely landed his plane after its engines failed over Martha's Vineyard 15 years ago. 63-year-old Keith Weiner was an experienced pilot who lectured on emergency landings and would purposely turn off his engines at high altitudes to practice emergency procedures. "It must've been a mechanical failure," Weiner's 85-year-old father Williamwho is also a former pilottells the Post, "because my son wouldn't have failed."
Is "The Sloppy Tuna" A Brilliant Bar Name Or What?
Once upon a time, there was a Montauk bar and restaurant named Nick's on the Beach. But then Nick's became... The Sloppy Tuna. Given that Urban Dictionary explains "sloppy tuna" as "loose woman, easy lay [Example: Yo, this club sucks! Lets sniff out some sloppy tuna down in the carboards!]," neighbors are not exactly thrilled.
Great White Caught, Not Released, In Montauk
It's been over a decade since the National Marine Fisheries Service prohibited commercial fishing of the great white shark and established a catch-and-release policy for recreational fisherman. The species—which has terrified beach-goers and anyone on a banana boat since 1975—is considered threatened by the International Union for the Conservation of Nature.
Madoff's Montauk House Sells For $9.4 Million
While Bernie is busy making new friends in federal prison, the U.S. Marshals have announced that the deal on Madoff's Montauk home is officially closed. And the final selling price is $650,000 over the asking price! The $9.4 million deal was made back in September, but the Government was not allowed to reveal the final selling price until after the deal closed. Pamela Liebman, Corcoran CEO, told ABC News "Buyers were extremely enthusiastic about the location of the house and its potential and not at all put off by the fact that it was Bernie Madoff's house." Because really, look at that view!
Madoff's Beach House Sold For OVER $8.75 Million Asking Price
We guess there is a sucker born every minute. The brokers handling the sale of Ponzi schemer Bernard Madoff's Montauk beach house say they've sold the property for over its $8.75 million asking price. The house is right on the beach (on 1.2 acres) with 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, but it's not an over-the-top marble palace either. One commercial broker had told the Times a few weeks ago, "They're not going to get 7, not in this environment. If they get 5.5, they should take the money and run."
People Flock To See Madoff's Beach House
Last week, the U.S. Marshals Service put Ponzi king Bernard Madoff's beachfront Montauk property up for sale at a cool $8.75 million. And apparently, seeing the four-bedroom, three bath home has been the thing to do this weekend—at least that's what the NY Times Styles section says. There was a Russian-accented man overheard saying, "Put us in for $7 million," only for his wife to say, "I don’t know what he’s doing. We live in a house twice this size with a nice view. We’re going to come here with kids, two dogs, everything else?" (The broker told the Times the man, an old client, was just joking.) Among the onlookers were Beastie Boy Ad Rock's sister who mentioned that Ruth Madoff's shoes were for sale and soap opera actor Vincent Irrizary who thought, "I’d like to buy [Madoff's] shoes, glue them to a canvas, say something artistically about the man who walked in those shoes." A commercial real estate broker opined, "They're not going to get 7, not in this environment. If they get 5.5, they should take the money and run." The broker's commission is being donated back to the fund for Madoff's victims.
Bernard Madoff's Beach House Listed For $8.75 Million
The Associated Press got a tour of Bernard Madoff's Montauk beach home and breaks the news: "Those who see Bernard Madoff as an evil purveyor of excess might be disappointed by his beach house: It's not that palatial." However, the U.S. Marshals Service says the house will be listed for $8.75 million, over $5 million more than what Madoff said the house was worth.
Hurricane Bill Couldn't Keep Boards, Blaine Out of the Water
Hurricane Bill washed out one of the last weekends of the summer for most beachgoers after state parks officials closed down most beaches due to the dangerous conditions brought on by effects of the storm. But when surfers got wind of the fact that sea was foaming like a bottle of beer, they simply told the State Parks Department, "The waves are comin', but we ain't got no fear." Officials said that 2,000 surfers, some from as far as California, showed up at Montauk—the most ever counted out there. And one Long Beach manager told Newsday, "You're supposed to have a pass. The surfers refuse to come out of the water when they're waved in to check their beach passes."
Hundreds Of Montauk Monsters Wash Up On Shore!
Okay, not really. But Flavorwire tagged along with Spencer Tunick to get a close-up look at the nakedest beach party in the Hamptons (surely it was fun getting all that sand off at the end of the day). The photographer set the scene for his latest nude project before dawn in Montauk, and the site reported back: "Tunick went through the setups he’d be arranging for the shoot, including a horrific-sounding pose called 'The Crab.' The group of 300 or so then trekked down to the beachfront, nestled between high cliffs and the picturesque Montauk Lighthouse, for more waiting. Once dawn arrived and the clouds broke, everyone stripped down and picked their way across the rocky beach to take position." And that's how the magic happens.
Montauk Monster's Return Related To Swine Flu?
The Hipster Grifter departs and the Montauk Monster returns! It's the ebb and flow, people. Remember that rotting carcass that creeped out and simultaneously intrigued the summering set last year? Consider this the sequel. But what does another unidentifiable animal washing up on the beach mean: are the locals messing with us? Has Plum Island hired a sloppy cleaning crew? Do aliens exist? There's no time for such questions—because the official Montauk Monster website has put the fear in us: "this carcass may be carrying H1N1 influenza (The Swine Flu)...I haven’t ruled out biological warfare on this yet. A diseased carcass floating in waterways around Long Island could be infecting the water, fish, etc. We still need to remember that Plum Island is where Lyme Disease originated, it’s really not too far fetched to believe that this carcass (if from Plum Island) could be carrying bacteria or disease." Not to get all Mulder and Scully, but maybe this would be worth looking into.
Is the Montauk Monster All Washed Up?
While you were sleeping, the Montauk Monster story kept spinning, this time landing on PlumTV, Newsday and...CNN. In an attempt to reassure a jittery public, the CNN quotes "experts" who say it's either a dog or raccoon; some think it may have washed up from the Plum Island Animal Disease Center.
Expert Claims the Montauk Monster is a Raccoon
Yesterday Gawker posted a photo of what quickly became referred to as "the Montauk Monster." Lizzie Grubman jokes were made, spines shivered, conspiracy theorists pondered (the Montauk Project, anyone?), a new internet superstar was born, and most came to the conclusion that the thing that washed up near the Surfside Inn was a bloated turtle without its shell. Or a monster.

