Left for dead in Florida and Nevada, Rick Santorum won all three contests last night in Minnesota, Missouri and Colorado, sending warning signals from Mitt Romney's CPU to the mini replica of the 2001 monolith that stands in for the candidate's heart. At his victory speech, Santorum said he wasn't aiming to become "the conservative alternative to Mitt Romney. I stand here to be the conservative alternative to Barack Obama." more ›

Last night President Obama announced that he will join his Republican counterparts in suckling from the opaque, monied teat of super PACs. "Our campaign has to face the reality of the law as it currently stands," Obama's campaign manager Jim Messina wrote in an email to supporters. "We're not going to fight this fight with one hand tied behind our back," Messina added later. "Democrats can't be unilaterally disarmed." Mutually assured destruction has been achieved. more ›

As expected, Mitt Romney soundly beat Newt Gingrich in the Nevada caucuses yesterday, no thanks to Donald Trump, who endorsed the candidate on Thursday. According to an extremely scientific poll of Nevada Facebook users, just 9.6% thought it had a positive affect on Romney, 41.4% voted "negative," and 49% voted "neither." In other equally important polling news, Rasmussen finds that Santorum beats Obama if you sample 12% of the electorate, and a certain cat has outsourced his way to impending victory. more ›

Would you believe that a majority of pop musicians disagree with Republican dogma? In recent days Newt Gingrich was sued by the co-author of "Eye of the Tiger" after he used it at numerous campaign events, and Mitt Romney was asked by K'naan to stop using his song "Wavin' Flag." "I'm for immigrants. I'm for poor people, and they don't seem to be what he's endorsing," the rapper told the Times. "My song being his victory song didn't seem quite right." So where can the GOP candidates turn to pump up their pasty crowds? We've compiled a shortlist of tunes that are the least likely to earn a cease-and-desist order. more ›

Newt Gingrich is well behind Mitt Romney in the polls for tonight's Florida primary, so the former Speaker has an ingenious method of invoking Godwin's law, politics-style. Robo-calls paid for by Gingrich's campaign have been calling voters and telling them that Romney axed Kosher meals for Holocaust victims during his tenure has Massachusetts' governor. more ›

Newt Gingrich may be trailing Mitt Romney by 11 percentage points in Florida, but don't tell whoever wrote this fresh, fly, rap song about the former Speaker of the House. more ›

Because a guy named "Brad" is in the office today, the country has been graced with Mitt Romney's tax returns. They show that in 2010 the candidate earned $21.7 million, and paid $3 million in federal taxes, for an effective tax rate of 13.9%. Romney also gave $2.98 million to charity, $1.5 million of which went to the Mormon Church. Reuters also reports that Romney closed down accounts in Switzerland and the Caymans that year "after an investment advisor decided it could be politically embarrassing to Romney." more ›

What does Newt Gingrich's 12% win over Mitt Romney in South Carolina mean? Even if Gingrich doesn't have Romney's war chest and organization for Florida's primary on the 31st, his momentum is snowballing in the state's print media, and this morning Romney admitted he made a mistake in declining to release his tax returns, and said he will make them available on Tuesday. “We made a mistake in holding off as long as we did,” the candidate told FOX News, noting that he pays a "substantial" amount of taxes. Still Gingrich can point out that in terms of percentage, he pays double what a member of the 0.01% does. more ›

Like a certain prurient Congressman, drunk on power and thirsty for alternatives, the South Carolina electorate has spurned their betrothed for the powdery jowls of another. Newt Gingrich is currently leading Mitt Romney ahead of today's GOP primary, 37% to 28% according to the PPP. In related news, we're taking the rest of the day off to close the deal on some Moon Condos. more ›

Last night's GOP debate in South Carolina was notable for there only being four candidates left in the scrum (remember when Herman Cain used to be there?), but the true winner of the wintry evening was Newt Gingrich, who has been surging in recent polls for the state's primary as well as starring in The Real Housewives Of The GOP. When CNN debate moderator John King asked Gingrich about his second ex-wife's claims that he asked for an open marriage, Gingrich fired back, calling the question "destructive" and "despicable." "I am appalled you would begin a presidential debate with a topic like that. Every person knows personal pain ... I am astounded CNN would take trash like that and use it to open a presidential debate." more ›

He's trailing in the polls, he hates Social Security, and... and... oh, who cares: News outlets are reporting that Texas Governor Rick Perry is ending his presidential dreams. more ›

Though it's no secret that Mitt Romney's income is made up of residual Bain investments taxed at the low rate of 15%, the candidate admitted it this morning at a campaign stop in Florence, South Carolina. “It’s probably closer to the 15 percent rate than anything,” Romney said. According to the Times, he also loses his speaking fees in the cushions of his couch. “And then I get speaker’s fees from time to time, but not very much.” Yeah, what's $374,327, or nearly 14 times the per capita income of Americans? more ›

Ahh, South Carolina. From its racist, lionized politicians to its well-informed citizenry, the Palmetto State is a bastion of a bygone era many of us are happy to have never lived in. At last night's GOP debate in Myrtle Beach, sponsored by FOX News, the candidates pandered mightily to the raucous audience to give them what they wanted: blood. Specifically, sweet, sweet Mormon blood. more ›

Jon Huntsman, the most qualified, moderate Republican candidate for president withdrew from the race today after a poor showing in New Hampshire and polls showing that he trailed a TV personality who isn't even on the ballot in Saturday's South Carolina primary. Before sheepishly endorsing Mitt Romney, Huntsman complained about how mean the other candidates are. “This race has degenerated into an onslaught of negative and personal attacks not worthy of the American people and not worthy of this critical time in American history,” Huntsman said, apparently never seeing those awesome attack ads John Adams launched against Thomas Jefferson in 1800. more ›

Last month, Stephen Colbert's Super PAC, Americans for A Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow, attempted to sponsor South Carolina's GOP primary with a $500,000 donation. "Of course, I can’t offer that kind of no-strings-attached-money without getting something in return," Colbert wrote in an op/ed for The State, and in exchange for the money, he asked that his name be placed on the ballot and the primary itself, and that voters also be asked about corporate personhood. Alas, the state's GOP declined to take the bait, but PPP polled voters anyway: 33% of likely voters think that "corporations are people," while 67% believe "only people are people." Look for Jim DeMint to be unseated by Senator Bojangles in 2016. more ›

New Jersey governor Chris Christie is above partisan squabbling and name-calling. As he was trying to explain this to a group of Mitt Romney supporters at a campaign stop in Exeter, New Hampshire, he was rudely interrupted by a group of Occupy protesters who shouted "Christie kills jobs!" But thanks to his years on the stand-up circuit, Christie handled the hecklers like a pro. "You know, something may go down tonight but it ain't gonna be jobs, sweetheart!" We're guessing New Jersey's chief executive then ordered the group a round of strawberry daiquiris and told the bartender to "keep playing Buffett until I can get these ladies home." more ›

To satisfy America's bloodlust for pallid men in funeral attire yelling at each other, the GOP presidential candidates faced off in two debates, twelve hours apart, ahead of Tuesday's New Hampshire primary. At last night's ABC debate at St. Anselm, frontrunner Willard Romney was content to let Ron Paul, Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich claw each other's eyes out. But at this morning's NBC/Lunesta debate his rivals came to their senses and with the help of Romney's inability to relate to anyone other than T-1000, attempted to tear down his commanding lead in the polls. more ›

It's the night of the Iowa Caucuses! Everyone run downstairs and look at the Caucus Bush and marvel at how resplendent it is with Super PAC money and tears! At 1,774 precinct stations across the state, registered Republicans will gather at 7 p.m. CST to argue whether Mitt's hair is sexier than Rick Santorum's sweatervests. Polls have Santorum neck-and-neck with Willard Romney, and the man who runs America's most Fair and Balanced resource for on-air errors wants you to "think" about Rick. "Can't resist this tweet, but all Iowans think about Rick Santorum. Only candidate with genuine big vision for country," Rupert Murdoch tweeted. Wow! It's almost as if Santorum once worked for FOX News. more ›

Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney wants to win the Iowa caucus. He's been trying to relate to voters with awkward small talk but apparently a multi-millionaire management (ahem, "restructuring") consultant former governor of Massachusetts who thinks corporations are people is really desperate to strike a chord. Because yesterday he promised to put commercials on public broadcasting stations—and specifically called out Sesame Street. more ›

Smelling the blood emanating from Ron Paul's Pamphletgate Redux, Mitt Romney is closing in on the Good Doctor's lead in Iowa one week from the primary. In addition to his $1.1 million ad buy, Romney's bringing out the biggest gun in his arsenal to seal the deal: New Jersey governor Chris Christie, who will be appearing on radio shows and perhaps even at stump speeches. But will that be enough to paper over the fact that Mitt Romney is a cyborg created by a race of lightly salted water crackers from the planet Carrdon, sent here to study and infiltrate the human race? Consider the evidence. more ›

Though the sun is shining here in the Commonwealth of Virginia, it shines not for Newt Gingrich, as he failed to submit the 10,000 signatures necessary to appear on the GOP primary ballot in March. Gingrich had promised that he would deliver the signatures himself by Thursday's deadline, but he now joins every candidate besides Mitt Romney and Ron Paul, in failing to appear on the ballot. "Winning campaigns have to be able to execute on the fundamentals," senior Romney advisor Eric Fehernstrom gloated to the Times. "This is like watching a hitter in the World Series failing to lay down a bunt." Or like buying the Scottie tag charm without the dog bone charm. more ›

Mitt Romney was on FOX News today to defend the negative ads the pro-Romney Restore Our Future PAC is running against Newt Gingrich. Presumably showing off some of the skills he displayed at an impromptu Comedy Cellar appearance he made in the city last week, Romney said, “If you can’t stand the heat in this little kitchen, wait until the Obama hell’s kitchen turns up the heat." Who knew the endless flow of corporate money reducing our electoral process to a shameless bidding war could be so funny? more ›

New Jersey Governor, non-presidential candidate and Mitt Romney supporter, Chris Christie went on MSNBC's Morning Joe this morning and got right to business, dropping doozies left and right. To start, he dinged on host Mika Brzezinski for being in the "tank" for President Obama, then made some swipes at the President himself (including a few arguably false statements), all the while praising his man Mitt every chance he got. "My problem with the President is that he has not stepped up and led," Christie said, later adding that Obama is "probably the weakest president I’ve seen in my lifetime," and arguing that "I’ve had to face much tougher things in New Jersey from a political perspective than [Obama] has." more ›

Remember when that rascally governor of Arkansas told a MTV audience that he didn't inhale marijuana smoke? Probably not because in 1992 many of us were still sucking Ecto-Cooler and slamming Pogs. But future-president Clinton admitted the faux pas in the first incarnation of MTV's Choose or Lose, the network's slogan for all things political, until now. Behold, the "Power of 12." MTV President Stephen Friedman explains the change to Brian Stelter as coming out of the burgeoning cynicism amongst 18-29 year olds following Obama's election. “They were so passionate, and then they hit this wall of the economy.” more ›