What qualifies as a "crime wave" these days? Increased grand larceny on the subway? A spike in shootings? According to the Post, cutting power lines, stealing electrical wire and a "suspicious boardwalk fire" add up to a "cyclone of crime" in Coney Island. Never mind the real atrocity: that Nathan's on the boardwalk doesn't offer raw, diced onion on their hot dogs. more ›

Remember last summer when lifeguards became the new target for water-logged watchdogs? Well, it's gettin' hot out there, and a reader sent in the following account after visiting Rockaway Beach this weekend—signaling another summer of lazy lifeguarding!:

I was at Rockaway Beach on Saturday, June 26th at the 125th Street entrance and there was a blond female lifeguard on duty. She brought the whole family along and sat in the lifeguard tower with her baby in her lap for a good 45 minutes. I hardly see how you can jump off the lifeguard tower and save a life with a baby in your damn lap. She was the only lifeguard up on the lifeguard tower at the time, and seemed to be the only lifeguard on duty for that area, as the other lifeguard was having a photoshoot with his girlfriend. Haven't there been a lot of drownings lately? Shouldn't our lifeguards be paying attention to the ocean?

Wednesday night a few Russian women were ticketed $250 a piece for swimming past 6 p.m. at Brighton Beach. The Parks security allegedly threatened to jail them and check up on their immigration statuses. While the Parks Dept. told us that "New York State law does not allow you to swim at your own risk," the swimmers (and eyewitnesses) say that the lifeguards never alerted them that the beach was closing, and simply clocked out without getting anyone out of the water. more ›

Move over, Clementine Lee, the Parks Department has a new Public Enemy #1: The older Russian women enjoying a swim at Brighton Beach—and yesterday a few of them were handed $250 tickets for cooling off in the water. A tipster writes in: "I guess there's a sign somewhere on the boardwalk that says swimming is not allowed 6 p.m. to 10 a.m., but I never noticed it. It's hot, it's August, and some people have to work during official swim hours." more ›

Hurricane Bill washed out one of the last weekends of the summer for most beachgoers after state parks officials closed down most beaches due to the dangerous conditions brought on by effects of the storm. But when surfers got wind of the fact that sea was foaming like a bottle of beer, they simply told the State Parks Department, "The waves are comin', but we ain't got no fear." Officials said that 2,000 surfers, some from as far as California, showed up at Montauk—the most ever counted out there. And one Long Beach manager told Newsday, "You're supposed to have a pass. The surfers refuse to come out of the water when they're waved in to check their beach passes." more ›

City lifeguards have been getting nothing but bad press these days, but yesterday afternoon at a pool in Queens they came to the rescue of a young girl who was being sexually assaulted. Lifeguards at Fisher Pool in East Elmhurst were quick to respond when 20-year-old Julio Ajpacaja jumped in what locals call "a kids pool" around 4:30 and began groping a 13-year-old girl, asking her if she "wanted to play." Ajpacaja was pulled out and the cops were called in, eventually charging him with forcible touching and endangering the welfare of a child. Paramedics examined the girl at the scene and witnesses say she was visibly shaken, but not seriously injured. One witness told WCBS 2, "That's sick, that's nasty, a grown man … what are you doing messing around with little kids?" more ›

Despite the ongoing attack on lifeguards, the parks commissioner is standing by his boys in red. After a city pool's lifeguard was arrested for dunking a teenager who accused the lifeguard of trying to drown him, Commissioner Adrian Benepe is saying that he does not think there is any systematic problem with his lifeguards, telling the Post, "Any time you have a large group of workers, you are going to have some problems." Benepe stressed that there's two sides to the dunking story and said, "If someone is resisting, it may appear something that it's not." The teenagers at Highbridge Pool in Washington Heights though must smell blood in the water because they're coming to the Post and claiming that the dunking was not an isolated incident. One 15-year-old told the paper of a similar altercation that occurred in the 10 Feet section of the water two weeks ago, saying, "It was three lifeguards. They took turns dunking the kid without letting him come up for air." more ›

With beach lifeguards doing their part over the past couple weeks to demonstrate just how terrified we should feel swimming beneath their easily-distracted watch, now lifeguards at city pools are making sure we know that they can be negligent too. Yesterday, Luis Peralta, 25, a lifeguard at the Highbridge Pool in Washington Heights, was arrested for dunking a teenager after he joking he would drown anyone who had jumped in while the pool was being cleaned. A fellow teenager told the News, "The lifeguard came in and started drowning the kid. He was basically on top of his head, pushing down with his hands — and he was counting [out loud] up to 5 or 6." Peralta was charged with a misdemeanor for reckless endangerment. The mother of the boy dunked told the Post, "What [the lifeguard] did was very dangerous...I gave him permission to go because I felt safe with him going there, but now I don't feel safe." Just last week, two teens were arrested at the same pool for scuffling with cops when they refused to leave the pool in a similar situation. more ›

Move over, Canada geese. The New York Post has a new public enemy in its sights—the city's 1300 lifeguards. This weekend the paper caught a shot of one of the Parks Department employees in Coney Island off his chair (but seemingly on-duty) coming down to the sand and "canoodling with a lovely." The picture captures his floatation device going unused as his flirtation device works its magic. The most recent indiscretion comes on the heels of a week in which the Post caught lifeguards with iPods on and drinking beer in their tower after hours. Catching the young employees acting so irresponsibly on the job is not just raising the tabloid's ire; they also talk to Chris Bewster, president of the US Lifesaving Association. He says, "It's indicative of very poor management of these beaches...What is extraordinary about the pictures that are coming out of New York is that they do it in front of everybody else. It suggests they don't fear that, if they're observed, they will be disciplined." The rate of swimmers to die on NYC lifeguards' watch hovers around 3x greater than the national average. more ›

It's sort of fitting that with our death sand and polluted water that our city's beach lifeguards are probably drunk and under-trained. Going to the beach is now just as adventurous as going to Tompkins Square Park after midnight in the 80s—danger lurking around every corner and no one there to save you! Anyway, the NY Post is reporting on the sad state of affairs, saying the Parks Department has launched an investigation into beer drinking at the Orchard Beach lifeguard office; which comes on the heels of the Rockaway iPod lifeguard incident. more ›

A day after a Bronx teenager drowned after getting caught in a Rockaway riptide, the Parks Department is suspending a lifeguard who was photographed wearing his iPod headphones while working at a nearby beach. Mayor Bloomberg was quick to lash out at the unnamed city employee, telling reporters, "He certainly wasn't doing what he was supposed to be doing." The mayor also urged anyone on the beaches who spots something similar to call 311. Beachgoers in Rockaway told the Post headphones on the lifeguards who start out making $13.50 an hour are just the tip of the iceberg—one resident said, "Half the time, they're chatting with people. They're listening to music. They're on their cellphones. They're texting with people." The lifeguard in the photo could be fired if he has been on the job for less than a year; it'll at least be a consideration after a hearing if he's been around longer. A Parks Department spokesman said, "This is an unacceptable violation of our regulations, which is not representative of the dedication and diligence displayed by the vast majority of our over 1,300 lifeguards." more ›